Nothing Ever Goes As Planned
Is It Really A Vacation If You Go Nowhere?
"I'm back in the saddle again,
Where Blogspot has crashed yet again,
Where the Blowneyed bloggers feed
on my often puerile screeds,
I'm back in the saddle again!"
Well, that was the week that was...
First time I've had a solid week off since going to work for The Man back in mid-2004. Counting the weekends, 9 days of freedom.
Man, I had plans. Well laid plans, fit for mice or men.
Didn't hardly nuthin' go right...
1st Saturday was OK. Got up, fiddled about the house, fed the cats, the usual. Left to go visit Collector's Firearms, then a leisurely late lunch at Macaroni Grill. Evening spent buried in a novel. Good day!
1st Sunday, not too bad. Fiddled around the house, websurfed longer than I needed to, then off to Gander Mountain for ammo purchase for National Ammo Day. Spent $$ that I really couldn't afford on 100 rounds of .357 Mag, and 500 rounds of .22LR fodder. If you haven't bought ammo in a while, be ready for a shock. That brick of .22 cost me $17, and was only $10 this time last year.
Back home, had a nap attack that lasted all evening and into the wee hours. WTF, I'm on vacation!
Monday? Ah, Monday...
I've got a list of things to do. Wash clothes, bathe & deflea cats. Bathe and de-flea me after all the fleas abandon damp cats. Wash clothes, wash dishes, wash truck, wash everything. Above all else, sit down at the computer and write the flippin' 1000 words of fiction I owe Phoenix, and I'm 3 weeks late on.
I'd just gotten out of the shower, and was in front of the oscillating fan drying out the dangly bits. (very refreshing in conjunction with peppermint soap, highly recommended!) Every single pair of underwear had just gone into the washer, and every pair of trousers I own (and can fit into...) had just gone into the dryer. Everything's just wet as wet can be. I'm perched on the bedside buck nekkid, reading the novel du jour and occasionally lifting a cheek so the taint can get some fan-blown air, too. I'm all about a dry taint. Keeps warheads from forming...
OK, so all is going peachy-keen, until there's a loud *POP* and the whole house goes dark. Fan grinds to a halt. TV in next room is quiet. A/C shuts off.
W... T... F....
I peek out the window to see if there's a storm cloud or a tornado violating my airspace, and see naught but a Centerpoint Energy drone getting into his truck and driving off. I'm an electricity junkie forced to go cold turkey...
Housemates Uno and Dos have decamped to parts distant until Thanksgiving Day. I had assumed when I handed over my 1/3 of the monthly monies, the funds would be put to good use.
I was *SO* wrong...
Housemate Uno likes to play "chicken" with the power company billing process, and waits until the bill is 29 days past due, then runs & pays it. Unfortunately for me, day 29 came three days after Housemate Uno had left town.
Want the fun part? Against my advice, Housemate Uno had switched the casa over to a VOIP phone system. You know that fancy modem that controls your cable, Internet and now telephones? Plugs right into the wall socket... Not only are you in the dark, but you can't even call for help.
So, wrapped in a grubby bathrobe, I go get my cell phone out of the truck and commence to blisterizing Housemate Uno's eardrums across 200 miles of Texas. Threats involving dousing Housemate Uno's belongings in kerosene and burning them out back are taken seriously, and somehow Centerpoint Energy gets their pound of flesh. Problem is, they can't guarantee renewed power before midnight, and maybe not for 48 hours.
Enter the Realm of Suck. Get paid on Wednesday. Until then, not enough $$ for a hotel, even a sleazy dive.
You can wash the laundry soap out of a pair of skivvies. You can wring them out really well. You cannot dry them by waving them in the air in the humid air of Houston. You must wear damp BVD's. You must also wear damp trousers. This will make you quite grumpy and out-of-sorts.
Anyway, long story short, it was an 18 hour odyssey of hanging out in various retail establishments, all-night diners and much driving around the truck to stay cool on an unseasonably warm day & evening.
This threw my whole week out of whack. Blew my sleep schedule, killed any chance of writing, and just threw me into a deep blue funk I'm just now peeking out from under.
Thanksgiving was OK, 2nd weekend was miserable, 'cause I dosed the cats with nuclear flea juice I got from the vet, and Betsy Cat swole up like a sausage on a grill. Pookie Cat went into a 2 day nap. I was on cat watch the whole time hoping they wouldn't go into spasms and keel over. I had one scary moment where I thought Betsy Cat was having convulsions, but it turned out she just couldn't get a grip on a formica desktop with her back claws, and was kicking like a bullfrog until I yanked her away from the edge.
Sigh. I need another vacation...
"I'm back in the saddle again,
Where Blogspot has crashed yet again,
Where the Blowneyed bloggers feed
on my often puerile screeds,
I'm back in the saddle again!"
Well, that was the week that was...
First time I've had a solid week off since going to work for The Man back in mid-2004. Counting the weekends, 9 days of freedom.
Man, I had plans. Well laid plans, fit for mice or men.
Didn't hardly nuthin' go right...
1st Saturday was OK. Got up, fiddled about the house, fed the cats, the usual. Left to go visit Collector's Firearms, then a leisurely late lunch at Macaroni Grill. Evening spent buried in a novel. Good day!
1st Sunday, not too bad. Fiddled around the house, websurfed longer than I needed to, then off to Gander Mountain for ammo purchase for National Ammo Day. Spent $$ that I really couldn't afford on 100 rounds of .357 Mag, and 500 rounds of .22LR fodder. If you haven't bought ammo in a while, be ready for a shock. That brick of .22 cost me $17, and was only $10 this time last year.
Back home, had a nap attack that lasted all evening and into the wee hours. WTF, I'm on vacation!
Monday? Ah, Monday...
I've got a list of things to do. Wash clothes, bathe & deflea cats. Bathe and de-flea me after all the fleas abandon damp cats. Wash clothes, wash dishes, wash truck, wash everything. Above all else, sit down at the computer and write the flippin' 1000 words of fiction I owe Phoenix, and I'm 3 weeks late on.
I'd just gotten out of the shower, and was in front of the oscillating fan drying out the dangly bits. (very refreshing in conjunction with peppermint soap, highly recommended!) Every single pair of underwear had just gone into the washer, and every pair of trousers I own (and can fit into...) had just gone into the dryer. Everything's just wet as wet can be. I'm perched on the bedside buck nekkid, reading the novel du jour and occasionally lifting a cheek so the taint can get some fan-blown air, too. I'm all about a dry taint. Keeps warheads from forming...
OK, so all is going peachy-keen, until there's a loud *POP* and the whole house goes dark. Fan grinds to a halt. TV in next room is quiet. A/C shuts off.
W... T... F....
I peek out the window to see if there's a storm cloud or a tornado violating my airspace, and see naught but a Centerpoint Energy drone getting into his truck and driving off. I'm an electricity junkie forced to go cold turkey...
Housemates Uno and Dos have decamped to parts distant until Thanksgiving Day. I had assumed when I handed over my 1/3 of the monthly monies, the funds would be put to good use.
I was *SO* wrong...
Housemate Uno likes to play "chicken" with the power company billing process, and waits until the bill is 29 days past due, then runs & pays it. Unfortunately for me, day 29 came three days after Housemate Uno had left town.
Want the fun part? Against my advice, Housemate Uno had switched the casa over to a VOIP phone system. You know that fancy modem that controls your cable, Internet and now telephones? Plugs right into the wall socket... Not only are you in the dark, but you can't even call for help.
So, wrapped in a grubby bathrobe, I go get my cell phone out of the truck and commence to blisterizing Housemate Uno's eardrums across 200 miles of Texas. Threats involving dousing Housemate Uno's belongings in kerosene and burning them out back are taken seriously, and somehow Centerpoint Energy gets their pound of flesh. Problem is, they can't guarantee renewed power before midnight, and maybe not for 48 hours.
Enter the Realm of Suck. Get paid on Wednesday. Until then, not enough $$ for a hotel, even a sleazy dive.
You can wash the laundry soap out of a pair of skivvies. You can wring them out really well. You cannot dry them by waving them in the air in the humid air of Houston. You must wear damp BVD's. You must also wear damp trousers. This will make you quite grumpy and out-of-sorts.
Anyway, long story short, it was an 18 hour odyssey of hanging out in various retail establishments, all-night diners and much driving around the truck to stay cool on an unseasonably warm day & evening.
This threw my whole week out of whack. Blew my sleep schedule, killed any chance of writing, and just threw me into a deep blue funk I'm just now peeking out from under.
Thanksgiving was OK, 2nd weekend was miserable, 'cause I dosed the cats with nuclear flea juice I got from the vet, and Betsy Cat swole up like a sausage on a grill. Pookie Cat went into a 2 day nap. I was on cat watch the whole time hoping they wouldn't go into spasms and keel over. I had one scary moment where I thought Betsy Cat was having convulsions, but it turned out she just couldn't get a grip on a formica desktop with her back claws, and was kicking like a bullfrog until I yanked her away from the edge.
Sigh. I need another vacation...
posted by El Capitan | 4:54 PM
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