The Bird Is The Word!

Why Don't They Call Female Peacocks "Peacu-" Um, Never Mind...

OK, so I'm rolling through the 'hood the other day, and I got to...

RIGHT HERE!!!



And standing RIGHT THERE!!!



Was a big mofo peacock. Looked kinda like this one:



Just kinda hangin' out & chilling. Doin' whatever peacocks do.

I stopped and looked at him. He didn't pay me much mind.

Peacocks and turkeys look kinda similar in body size, and for all I know, they're a moist and tender treat. I contemplated the switchblade nestled in my truck's door handle, and thought about tackling the critter. Those tailfeathers would look right smart tucked in a tall vase by the piano...

I reached for the door latch... Then, I realized something. It was quiet.

TOO quiet... This was probably some dastardly peacock ruse, meant to draw me out of the safety of my truck, whereupon dozens of the multicolored bastards would rain down from the treetops and peck me to death, dragging off the bloody remnants to feed the hens and chicks.

I waved my knife at the bird just so he knew I was on to his little scheme, then drove home, checking the rearview mirror the whole way. You never can tell with those sneaky birds...