Good News For Hairboy!!

A Toad A Day Keeps The Gator Away!

Stunning news out of the land of Oz might spell relief for Elderly Brother & Blowneyed Blodger Jimbo!

Jimbo's great farookin' hair was in danger of falling out due to the stress of imminent attack by his nemesis, the free-ranging alligator. Normally, the scaly critters wouldn't go anywhere near Noo Joisey, but those cold-blooded bastards can smell fear from several states away!

Fortunately, Jimbo can now make use of Australian Cane Toads to repel marauding crocodilians. It seems that the toxic cane toads are wiping out the freshwater crocs in the Victoria River district of Oz's Northern Territory.

I propose that in lieu of the usual gifts of chocolate vodka and hair care products, we all donate a bucket of Cane Toads to the Save Jimbo From The Gators Fund. He can keep most of 'em around the house, and use some to make a toadskin suit. I'm informed by reliable sources that the toxic toad secretions will work well as a hair pomade with croco-repellent properties.

So, if you can get a line on a reliable toad-importing firm, let me know, and we'll get the pipeline to Jimbo's place up and running!