Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Right Time + Right Place = WIN!!!

Free Black & Tans For Everyone!

Wow. There's not much better than having a beautiful woman give you free beer.

Well, OK, maybe giving you free beer and a BJ... Still, never look a gift giver in the mouth, unless she IS giving you a BJ. Then, a discreet check for chancres and open sores is perfectly acceptable. I mean, you gotta wonder about strange wimmens handing out free BJs!

But I digress...

I got out of a late-running meeting, and debating stopping off for some dinner or just going home. It was a fairly crappy day, so I decided to stop by the Kroger on W. Gray to pick up some sushi.

It's a great Kroger store. It's right on the edge of River Oaks, and just jam packed with extremely rich wimmens. They spare no expense in cosmetic surgery, exercise trainers and personal grooming. The place is just wall-to-wall eye candy!

So, I wander in, grab some sushi from their captive sushi slicers, and head over to the veggie section. I pass by a woman giving out free samples of Harp Lager and Guinness Stout. She's about 9.75 on a 1-10 scale, and looks like a cross between 1965 Diana Ross and 1995 Tyra Banks. Just smokin' hot!

I grab my veggies, swing by the soup aisle, and head for the checkout.

My timing couldn't have been better. Indeed, you could almost say it was a preordained conclusion. As I get up to the register, the Beer Sample Hottie was telling the cashier "I'm sorry! I asked my boss, but I can't let you have the leftovers because you work for Kroger! I'm so tired of taking this stuff home! I already have a cabinet full!"

I chuckled and said "Man, that's a rough problem to have!"

"Do you drink beer?" She asked.

"Oh, from time to time." I replied.

"Do you like Guinness?"


"Well, here you go! Enjoy!" she said, gifting me with two full sixpacks.


Final tally: 5 bottles Guinness Stout, 4 bottles Harp Lager, 3 cans Guinness Draft!!

I'm not sure how many calories are in a bottle of Guinness, but I'm sure I'll manage to fit one into the diet from time to time!

A Well-Made Black & Tan: