Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Keys To The Kingdom

Genuflect Before The Porcelain Throne!

I've just about completed my collection of shitter keys.

One of the biggest hassles in public deuce-dropping is getting situated on the throne and then looking over and seeing that the last remaining roll of bogwipe has been shackled out of reach up in the vault-like dispenser on the wall.

Running a close second is having the dispenser out of adjustment, causing the roll to not rotate freely, resulting in the asspaper tearing into postage stamp-sized allotments.

Then, there's the inevitable paper jam, where for some reason, the paper is in there, just inaccessible due to some malfunction.

So, whaddya do??  If you're on top of your game, you grab your keyring, unlock that holder, and sort matters out.

I've got 5 keys on a mini-carabiner that'll open about 90% of the bathroom dispensers on the market.  I've got the Kimberly-Clark, GA Pacific, Bobrick, C-Fold (works on Merriam, Jamar and Ft. Howard), and the Tork waffle key.

There's a brand called SCA I don't have yet, and there's always the chance of an older lock that uses a unique key.

Still, for peace of mind in a foreign shithole, it's always best to have the key to comfort!