Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Back From The Reunion

Two More Years Until The Next One...

Some random observations from the weekend...

First, I completely and unreservedly retract my earlier comment about Oklahoma being a dry dustbowl. Not only was the stretch of I-35 from the border to OKC greener than most of Texas we'd passed through, it really could have used a herd of buffalo in the freeway median to chew on the countless acres of lush prairie grass. Aside from the multitude of Indian casinos and the actual Okies that happen to be related to me, it's a nice state.

Second, if you have the opportunity to ride in a vehicle for the best part of two days with two toddlers, don't do it. Oh, I'll give Sammy & Grace props for being well-behaved for 90% of the trip. That remaining 10% consisted of full-blown meltdowns, meaning non-stop shrieking for mile after mile. You just can't ingest enough alcohol to deal with that...

Third, that insulated mug guaranteed not to leak all over your rented van seats? It will.

Fourth, bring along down blankets and parkas for your wimmenfolks. Even with the July sun beating down upon us in that fishbowl of a van, every time I'd sneak a hand towards the A/C controls to lower the air temp, I'd be met with tortured wailings from my sister and mom about how cold it was in the van.

Fifth, Never EVER leave your collection of music CD's at home, on the assumption that your brother-in-law will bring along good music. We agreed on Little River Band and Boz Scaggs, but very little else.

Sixth, If you're expecting the cuisine at a small mom & pop burger grill to be up to your big-city standards, you've got a lot to learn about restaurants. As soon as I saw the menu, I could have told you that whatever didn't come out of a #10 can came out of a deep-fat fryer via the walk-in freezer. We were there for the location and the private dining room, not the food quality.

Seventh, carry a wad of cash in your pocket for a sizable tip after some of your tightwad relatives undertip the waitstaff. Do y'all even realize what a monumental PITA it is to wait on a table of 25, with toddlers in tow? That 12% shit has to stop...

Eighth, don't drop your camera on the floor the first night. Your camera will still function normally, but for some reason every set of fully-charged batteries will drain out in about 5 minutes. I think the power-management circuits got hosed. At any rate, that's why there's no pictures!!