Son of Holiday Frivolities!

OK, here's the frivolity I started on earlier...

Caveat: Some of these are doggerel, not really true Latin.

Absum! - I'm outta here!
Abutebaris modo subjunctivo denuo - You've been misusing the subjunctive again.
Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit - To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Alterum ictum faciam - I'm going to take a mulligan.
Amicule, deliciae, num is sum qui mentiar tibi? - Baby, sweetheart, would I lie to you?
Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? - Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face?
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem - In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.
Appareo Decet Nihil Munditia? - Is It Not Nifty?
Apudne te vel me? - Your place or mine?
Ascendo tuum - Up yours!
Aspice, officio fungeris sine spe honoris amplioris - Face it, you're stuck in a dead end job.

Balaenae nobis conservandae sunt! - Save the whales!
Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare - Well, if you don't understand plain Latin, I'm not going to dirty my hands on you.
Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur! - Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt and the plaid jacket!
Braccae tuae aperiuntur - Your fly is open.
Brevior saltare cum deformibus mulieribus est vita- Life is too short to dance with ugly women.

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris - If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.
Canis meus id comedit - My dog ate it.
Capillamentum? Haudquaquam conieci esse! - A wig? I never would have guessed!
Caro putridas es! - You're dead meat.
Carpe Cerevisi - Seize the beer!
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam - I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
Cave canem, te necet lingendo - Beware of the dog, he may lick you to death.
Cave cibum, valde malus est - Beware the food, it is very bad.
Cave ne ante ullas catapultas ambules - If I were you, I wouldn't walk in front of any catapults.
Certamen bikini-suicidus-disci mox coepit? - Does the Bikini-Suicide-Frisbee match start soon?
Certe, Toto, sentio nos in kansate non iam adesse - You know, Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
Cogito sumere potum alterum - I think I'll have another drink.
Conlige suspectos semper habitos - Round up the usual suspects.
Coruscantes disci per convexa caeli volantes - Flying saucers.
Credidi me felem vidisse! - I tawt I taw a puddy tat!
Credo elvem etiam vivere - I believe Elvis lives.
Credo nos in fluctu eodem esse - I think we're on the same wavelength.
Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt - When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

Da mihi sis bubulae frustrum assae, solana tuberosa in modo gallico fricta, acquassum lactatum coagulatum crassum - Give me a hamburger, french fries, and a thick shake.
Da mihi sis cerevisiam dilutam - I'll have a light beer.
Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo - I'll have a pizza with everything on it.
Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit! - God, look at the time! My wife will kill me!
Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem! - The devil made me do it!
Dic mihi solum facta, domina - Just the facts, ma'am.
Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus - Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon.

Eheu, litteras istas reperire non possum - Unfortunately, I can't find those particular documents.
Estne tibi forte magna feles fulva et planissima? - Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? - Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?

Fabricati diem - Make my day!
Fac me cocleario vomere! - Gag me with a spoon!
Fac ut nemo me vocet - Hold my calls!
Fac ut vivas - Get a life!
Feles mala! Cur cista non uteris? Stramentum novum in ea posui! - Bad kitty! Why don't you use the cat box? I put new litter in it!
Fortunatus sum! Pila mea de gramine horrido modo in pratum lene recta volvit! - Isn't that lucky! My ball just rolled out of the rough and onto the fairway!

Graeca sunt, non leguntur - It is Greek, you don't read that.
Gramen artificiosum odi - I hate Astroturf.

Haec trutina errat - There is something wrong with this scale.
Heus, hic nos omnes in agmine sunt! - Hey, we're all in line here!
Hic puer est stultissimus omnium! - This boy is the stupidest of all!
Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero? - Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it?
Hostes alienigeni me abduxerunt. Qui annus est? - I was kidnapped by aliens. What year is it?
Hostis humani generis - Enemy of the human race.
Huc accedit zambonis! - Here comes the Zamboni!

Illiud latine dici non potest - You can't say that in Latin.
Illius me paenitet, dux - Sorry about that, chief.
In dentibus anticis frustrum magnum spiniciae habes - You have a big piece of spinach in your front teeth.
In puris naturalibus - Completely naked.
Instrumentum aeri temperando - Air conditioner.
Insula Gilliganis - Gilligan's Island
Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum - Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe.
Isto pensitaris? - You get paid for this crap?
Ita erat quando hic adveni - It was that way when I got here.
Latine loqui coactus sum - I have this compulsion to speak Latin.
Lege atque lacrima - Read 'em and weep.
Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est - The designated hitter rule has got to go.
Litoralis - Beach bum

Magister mundi sum! - I am the master of the universe!
Magnus frater spectat te - Big Brother is watching you.
Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus - Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Me oportet propter praeceptum te nocere - I'm going to have to hurt you on principle.
Me transmitte sursum, caledoni! - Beam me up, Scotty!
Mellita, domi adsum - Honey, I'm home!
Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi - Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.

Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum! - Don't you dare erase my hard disk!
Ne feceris ut rideam - Don't make me laugh.
Nemo saltat sobrius - No man dances sober.
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione - I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.
Noli me voca, ego te vocabo - Don't call me. I'll call you.
Nolite id cogere, cape malleum majorem - Don't force it, get a bigger hammer.
Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat - It's not the heat, it's the humidity.
Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema - I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.
Non erravi perniciose! - I did not commit a fatal error!
Non est mea culpa - It's not my fault!
Non Gradus Anus Rodentum! - Not Worth A Rats Ass!
Non illegitimus carborundum - Don't let the bastards grind you down!
Non sum pisces - I am not a fish!
Non, mihi ignosce, credo me insequentem esse - No, excuse me, I believe I'm next.
Nonne de novo eboraco venis? - You're from New York, aren't you?

O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem! - Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!
Obesa cantavit - The fat lady has sung.
Omnes lagani pistrinae gelate male sapiunt - All frozen pizzas taste lousy.
Orbes volantes exstare - Flying saucers are real.

Pactum serva - Keep the faith!
Pistrix! Pistrix! - Shark! Shark! (Usus Est Biremis Magnus! - We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat!)
Prehende uxorem meam, sis! - Take my wife, please!
Prescriptio in manibus tabellariorium est - The check is in the mail.
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? - How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentis telum est - A sword is never a killer, it's a tool in the killer's hands. (Seneca)
Quid agis, medice? - What's up, Doc?
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur - Anything said in Latin sounds profound.
Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri? - How do you get your hair to do that?
Quae nocent docent - Things that hurt, teach. (School of Hard Knocks)

Radix lecti - Couch potato
Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! - Stand aside plebians! I am on Imperial business!
Res melius evinissent cum coca - Things go better with Coke.
Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt - You know, the Romans invented the art of love.

Sane ego te vocavi. forsitan capedictum tuum desit - I did call. Maybe your answering machine is broken.
Semper ubi sub ubi ubique - Always wear underwear everywhere.
Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare - I think some people in togas are plotting against me.
Si fallatis officium, quaestor infitias eat se quicquam scire de factis vestris - If you fail, the secretary will disavow all knowledge of your activities.
Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes - Essentially it says, 'if you can read this, you're overeducated.'
Sit vis nobiscum - May the Force be with you.
Sola lingua bona est lingua mortua - The only good language is a dead language.
Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum - Only you can prevent forest fires.
Sona si latine loqueris - Honk if you speak Latin.
Spectaculorum procedere debet - The show must go on!
Stercus accidit - Shit happens!
Subucula tua apparet - Your slip is showing.

Tam diu minime visu! - Long time, no see!
Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure - I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Te capiam, cunicule sceleste! - I'll get you, you wascally wabbit!
Te precor dulcissime supplex! - Pretty please with a cherry on top!
Tibi gratias agimus quod nihil fumas - Thank you for not smoking!
Tintinnuntius meus sonat! - There goes my beeper!
Tu, rattus turpis! - You dirty rat!
Tum podem extulit horridulum - You are talking shit!

Ubi fumus, ibi ignis - Where there's smoke, there's fire!
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! - May barbarians invade your personal space!
Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant! - May conspirators assassinate you in the mall!
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant! - May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!

Vacca foeda - Stupid cow!
Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur - Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.
Vale, lacerte! - See you later, alligator!
Valui ad Satanam in computatrum meum invocandum - I succeeded in summoning Satan into my computer.
Verveces tui similes pro ientaculo mihi appositi sunt - I have jerks like you for breakfast.
Vescere bracis meis - Eat my shorts!
Vidistine nuper imagines moventes bonas? - Seen any good movies lately?
Vinum bellum iucunumque est, sed animo corporeque caret - It's a nice little wine, but it lacks character and depth.
Vir prudens non contra ventum mingit - A wise man does not urinate against the wind!
Viri sunt viri - Men are slime.
Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio - Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway!