Tales From The Salt Mines

Sigh... Another week at work. I definitely need to win the lottery pretty soon. This regular commuting and office hours thing is for the birds. To rip off 'Clerks', I definitely need to be a member of the Ruling Class. Mostly because I rule! Thing is, I actually enjoy hobnobbing with the plebes, unlike some who roam our hallowed halls. Once you start trying to hang out with the Suits, then you're in that endless rat race to one-up the others, until you're all hooked on coke, laying off the mail room staff to kick up your quarterly margin by half a percent, and embezzling the pension fund. Just not too cool, in my way of thinking.

We've got a bunch of new interns running around the joint. Mostly they're University of Houston or Texas Southern U. kiddies come to get a taste of what working for The Man is like. They're mostly useless right now, it takes about 4 weeks to get them up to speed, and we're NOT a speedy shop. I pity these poor schmucks when they hit a real jobsite, and learn they are expected to produce results on a daily basis.

I think I've discovered the secret of working here. Most places, it's a combined mantra of "Turn a profit" and "Don't fuck up". Here, there's really no profit motive, so it all boils down to "Don't fuck up".

The result of this mindset is that nothing EVER happens on someone's initiative. Even the most minor little things seem to need a director's approval. Schedule adjustments that I used to make as a matter of course when I was a raw front-line supervisor at a previous job years ago are just not done here. It needs to be docketed and discussed and debated and all possible ramifications studied in depth before a ruling is handed down.

I'm gaining more respect for some of my co-workers. They're not as lazy & inefficient as I initially thought (for the most part), but have just been molded by The Man to be unthinking automatons over years of service. Great thing to look forward to! Just gotta keep my eyes on the prize, that big ol' pension that may or may not be there when I retire in 20 years.

I just passed my 6 months-in-service mark last Friday, which means I finally get vacation time. Another set of months past that, and I'll get my suit of Tenure Armor, and then I'm subject to dismissal only if I violate any of the 7 Deadly Sins. Or we see massive layoffs, whichever comes first.

I gotta say, the urge to schmoke some weed has been growing in the back of my mind. It would certainly make dealing with this job easier. It's one of those things that comes and goes, more of a whim than anything else. I went on the weed-wagon back in '95, not long after I quit cigarettes and gradjitated college, and stayed off the wacky tobacky for almost 8 years. The desire for a calorie-free intoxicant led me back to the world of ZigZags and bongwater, but it's just not the same as when I was a kid. Mostly too expensive, and the market place is feast or famine. Either nasty scraggly Mexican ditchweed sold as "hydro" at $40 a quarter, or serious one-puff-equals-4-hour-coma hybrid at $10 a gram.

Needless to say, drug use is the big #1 on the list of Deadly Sins. No counseling, no second chances on that one. They catch you in their random pee-tastings, and you're done. Kiss that pension goodbye and head off to Taco Bell for a burrito-wrapping gig. I ain't touched the feelthy stuff for over a year now, but I hear it calling to me! Mostly when I watch Dazed & Confused and Kevin Smith flicks!

So, I've been a good little boy, overall. Nothing but booze and Cheez-Its to relieve the stresses of the day. Boy, that's certainly healthier, eh?

Well, damn. I've gone and job-blogged again. I need to quit doing this!!