Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Baby Evaluation Report

Well, I have finished my inspection tour to evaluate the progeny of my female-type sibling, and I have determined that she can indeed produce the most wonderful snuggly little babies I've ever seen.

You, of course, will agree!

Little Sammy was a joy to hold, mostly because he didn't yak on my new shirt, nor did he excrete from the other end all over my slacks. He didn't even cry, just made those baby faces where they skrinch up their face, then yawn real big, then go back to sleep.

I got to see Sammy's first impression of a water fountain, when during a diaper change he launched an impressive column of pee high over his shoulder to piddle on his Mom & Dad's bed. I was pretty amazed he got that much velocity through the little gizmo they've got on his tiny little hoo-hah to help the circumcision wound heal.

Heh. Speaking of tiny little hoo-hahs, my brother-in-law was feeling very superior. Apparently the only circumcision-healing gizmo that would fit properly on Sammy's hoo-hah was the largest size they had available. I started to tell him about the wound swelling factoring into the sizing, but he seemed so proud, I just let the matter drop. Suffice to say, Sammy's hung, well, like a baby, as far as I can tell.

Sammy's still a bit fussy about taking to the breast for feeding, which is an ego-hammer for my sister, especially when her husband shows up with the formula bottle and Sammy shuts up and starts chowing down. They'll get it worked out, though.

We took Sammy on his second car ride, and all the excitement must have wore him out. He slept almost 4 hours straight, giving Mom & Dad some much needed rest.

Sammy & I had a long chat where we discussed matters of great importance. For example, he's free to root for the Rangers or the Astros, but the Yankees and the Braves are Evil Incarnate. He now knows not to draw to an inside straight, and to never bet the rent money on a pair of jacks. We talked about how to keep the weather gauge on an enemy ship, and that all good pirates use Macs and listen to Jimmy Buffett.

He seemed to take the advice well, though he did poke his tongue out at me a couple of times and blew some spit bubbles. That and a couple of tummy gurgles were all he contributed to the conversation.

Grandma hijacked the digital camera on her way out to Austin before I got anything downloaded, so no pics of me & the SammyBaby for a few days.

Oh, my. I just realized I've joined the BabyBloggers. Eeeek. Next I'll be doing knittingblogging. Well, Buy A Gun Day is fast approaching. There just might be a surprise to counteract all the baby stuff!!