Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

BabyWatch II - Parentis Dizzinus

Just got a breathless call from Mom, she's getting caught up in all the drama.

They got my sister in the stirrups, decided to administer some kind of go-juice to kickstart the baby-ejecting process. Apparently it worked too well, and they had to inject some stop-juice to keep the kid from dancing the frug in the confines of the womb. It was also making my sister wiggle like a possum strapped in paint mixer.

Between the go & the stop, the Chief Baby-cotcher decided it would probably be best if they carved a hole up top and pulled the kid out through the roof. It appears to be a sizable sprog, and since it hasn't fully assumed the head-down position, they're afraid by the time it does the turn on its own, it'll be too big to come out the regular way. There's also some worry about placenta previa, so they're thinking the sooner they get the munchkin out, the better for all involved.

So, looks like my folks will see Grandkid the First emerge this afternoon, barring any more drama.

I'm sorry I'm not there to see the looks on my parent's faces. I imagine they'll have some sore cheek muscles from all the grinning, and red eyes from all the tears. They've been waiting for this moment for 37 years!

I, on the other hand, can't wait to start buying the kid all kinds of noisy toys. Oh, and a Lifetime NRA membership. Maybe a subscription to Playboy. Ooo! And a big slobbery dog! Oh, wait, they got one of those already...