Just Can't Escape The Lawyers

Pinstriped Esquired Bastards...

Got jury duty coming up in a coupe of weeks. I'm not one of those people who tries to get out of it. In fact, I'd like y'all to repeat over and over in your minds "El Capitan needs to be sequestered for 6 weeks" on the 13th. Not only will this get me a lengthy paid vacation, it'll royally piss off the barracudas that have been gnawing on my leg these past two weeks.

I'm looking forward to the jury questionaire. I can't wait to put down Pastafarianism under the "Which religion are you?" question. A buddy of mine used 'Jedi' one time. Said he followed the teachings of Yoda & Obi Wan Kenobi. One of the attorneys got bent out of shape about it, until my friend asked the attorney (in front of the judge) if he was trying to restrict his freedom to follow a religion of his choosing. The lawyer shut up about it.

Unfortunately, I'm not free to pull all the hijinks I'd like to, including spreading the gospel of jury nullification. Texas is still full of hanging judges, and while I'd like to be sequestered on a trial jury, I'd rather not be sequestered in the Gray Bar Hotel for 30 days for contempt.