Mysteries Revealed!

Be Sure Your Sin Will Find You Out!

I've often wondered how Elisson consistently manages to crank out post after post of decent blog material, whether he's home or on the road. The man can be winging over the frozen tundra, or braving the wilds of suburban Atlanta, and yet he rarely fails to post daily.

I knew there had to be a story behind this prolific output, and I was determined to seek it out. It took the application of some hi-tech sleuthing methods, (namely, duct taping a midget with a cell phone to Ellison's car undercarriage) but I at last winkled out the source of his copious verbiage.

All those times he told us he was traveling to Houston, TX to visit the Corporate Salt Mine was a clever ruse... in reality, he was visiting his secret Houston lair. (And, no, not this Houston Lair!)

Behold!



Yeah, it's spelled a bit differently, but that's just another clever ruse, I'm thinking...

I peeked in the window, and the place is just chock full of little gnomish creatures cranking out copy on old 386's, prodded along by what appeared to be female gorillas in dominatrix gear. Not wishing to alert them to my presence and possibly suffer the indignities of a banana up the tailpipe, so to speak, I didn't take any snapshots of the crew at work.

Next assignment for your intrepid undercover sleuth... to catch Dax Montana ending a conversation with something other than Just Damn!