Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, October 20, 2006

Wanted: One Swimming Pool

High Fence Also Mandatory

99 degrees on the thermometer. Feh. I was sure I had a fever of at least 102.

I've been feeling a bit queasy and out of sorts all afternoon. Took a nap following dinner, and now I'm sitting here kinda wishing I could just yak and get it over with. That's not gonna happen, though. Not that kind of malady, I'm afraid.

Times like this, I wish I had one of those narrow lap pools, the kind that force water via pumps down the pool at 5 mph, and you swim against the current. I'd chill that bad boy down to about 60-65 degrees, hang a grab bar off the side, tie a floatie around my neck and just let the current wash over me for a while. I'd prefer standing under a waterfall or lying in a mountain stream, but they're kind of thin on the ground in these parts.

Hell, I'd settle for any pool right now. I'm starting to get unhealthily obsessed with submerging my carcass and lurking like an alligator for a few hours, so much so that I'm contemplating sneaking into my neighbor's pool at 4 am.

I'm trying to remember the last time I've had an opportunity to go swimming or even soak in a tub, and I'm drawing a blank. The tub in this house, and most of the hotels I've stayed in recently are just too shallow and narrow to even try and wedge myself into. The last thing my already tattered ego needs is having to call the Fire Dept. to use the Jaws of Life to extract my big ass from being stuck like a cork in a bottle. So, it's showers for washing, and every so often I try to figure out where I'd get a used horse trough to put in the back yard for occasional ablutions. I'd get one of those inflatable kiddie pools, except it'd leave a huge dead spot in the grass underneath it. That, and how do you get rid of 800 gallons of water discreetly?

Sigh. Guess I just need to bite the bullet and go down to Galveston and drop myself in the ocean. It's certainly large enough.

Good choice, Opus!
Rock me on the water
Sister will you soothe my fevered brow
Rock me on the water, maybe I'll remember
Maybe I'll remember how
Rock me on the water
The wind is with me now
So rock me on the water
I'll get down to the sea somehow...