Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, October 13, 2006

More Ranting & Raving

'Cause It's Friday, And I Ain't Got Shit To Do!

OK, here's some things that are bugging me...

Stupid Radio Commercials

The worst part about listening to talk radio is Michael Savage the idiotic commercials. These things repeat endlessly, so you get to hear the stupidity at least twice on each trip to & from work.

I swear, if I ever meet that kid that can't decide what breakfast to get at McDonalds, I'm gonna ram a garden hose up his poop chute, staplegun it until it's watertight, and turn on the tap until he pops.

Oh, and let's make no mistake... Rich Chocolate Ovaltine sucks major ass. Tastes like what one of those M&M characters shits out when struck with dysentery.

Kurt talked about this next one earlier this week, but I'll repeat. Those radio ads wanting you to buy gold as an investment? Completely effin' useless, because they don't actually send you any gold. When you need your Krugerrands to buy canned food and shotgun shells after the Apocalypse, you need 'em NOW, not stuck in some vault in Poughkeepsie.

I'm puzzled by what kind of dumbass developed the recent commercial advertising houses for sale. The ads tell you that "people with last names starting with A through N are allowed (allowed? Exsqueeze me??) to call today, people with last names starting with O through Z can call tomorrow." They run this commercial every day, though, rendering that statement (which they make twice) pointless and ultimately destroying any credibility. Dumbasses.

If your commercial annoys me, I'm never buying your product/service. So, Amazing Siding, Man's Best Friend, Shaw's Jewelry, Regal Plastics, and especially Carol Keeton "One Tough Grandma" Strayhorn, get stuffed!! I'm sick of hearing you!

Salsa Packets

What dumbass decided to put salsa in single serve packets? You can never get a hole ripped in 'em big enough to allow the chunky bits to pass through. The sauce then gets dammed up behind the chunks, until it spews out all over everything. Salsa comes in jars, not packets, people.

Piss-Me-Off Word Of The Day: Monetize

Does no one do anything for the sheer fun of it anymore? Do we have to find a way to attach a dollar sign to every single human endeavour? I swear, some people are like locusts in their incessant search to hunt down and collect every single penny they can find. I mean, I can understand "blegging" a little bit if you're dirt-poor and trying to run a blog where you're paying for a domain and bandwidth. For the rest of you, don't you have day jobs? For Pete's sake, if you need a few extra dollars, mow some yards, hold a garage sale, pimp out your dog. Don't load up your blog with ads that never load properly and freeze up the loading process.

Piss-Me-Off Word Of The Day II: Interstitial

Interstitials are those hellspawn web pages on MSM websites that force you to stay on their site. After you pass through one of the interstitials, your backspace or back button freezes on the MSM site's entry page, forcing you to close the window or use your History tab to get out of their site. Dumbasses.

Fridays That The Boss Is Out Of Town

Normally these would be good days. However, there exists in this den of thieves and miscreants a certain segment of the population that relishes in tale-bearing and backstabbing. The KGB, STASI and SAVAK have nothing on these folks. Therefore, I have to remain here parked behind my desk until they leave, instead of taking a long lunch and an early exit. Doesn't matter that I'm salary and not hourly, or that I'm mostly twiddling my thumbs today, it's all for appearances sake. Dumbasses!!