Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

My Photo
Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Five Weird Things

I Could List Hundreds Of Weird Things...

Deathknyte tagged me with this one. Who am I not to play along?

1) Some kid in Algebra class back in high school was "impressing" some girls by poking a thumbtack into his hand, barely drawing blood. I leaned over, whispered "He's a pussy", then pulled out my el cheapo Mexican switchblade and carved a slice into my forearm. Bled like a stuck hog. I have absolutely no idea what possessed me to do that. Still have the scar and the switchblade, but the blade-popper gizmo doesn't work anymore.

2) I went to a party at a lakehouse about 30 miles from college way back when. Got extremely loaded, and commenced to doing half-remembered ishin ryu katas on the floating dock. Some other intoxicated individual decided I was a Karate Kid wannabe, and desperately needed an ass-kicking. He gave it his best shot. After getting dumped three times in the lake, the asskicker had had enough, and drove his intoxicated self back to campus.
The next morning, me & my girlfriend were 5 miles from the campus when we saw him skateboarding back to the college. He'd run out of gas about halfway back, and had been skateboarding all night. We stopped, picked him up, and fed him breakfast. We were great friends from then on.

3) Though I pledged a fraternity my freshman year, and went through some seriously heinous hazing, I never had to participate in the "elephant walk" or in a circle jerk. I'm pretty sure this puts me in the minority of frat pledges. Not that they'll admit it.

4) I can change out the starter in a Dodge Aspen station wagon in less time than it takes most people to get an oil change and lube job. Plus, I can do it in a cloudburst so bad that my ears were underwater as I lay on my back underneath the car. After swapping out the starter on the "War Wagon" at least a dozen times, I'd better be good at it...

5) My collection of Jack In The Box antenna balls could be considered... excessive.