Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Naked Came The Manatee

The Blogpost Before I Lose It Completely

OK, 3 things...

First, I'm having a Bad Hair Week, so I've already put in the paperwork for taking tomorrow off from work. 6 a.m. tomorrow, I'm towing my truck into the shop to have the transmission rebuilt, and will spend the rest of the day in bed shivering uncontrollably from the malarial-like spasms of financial decomposition.

Second, this post is a direct reflection of the temporary instability of my inner self, so if I lose you in the mental underbrush, I'll be back on an even keel sometime in the future. Don't hold your breath, though.

Third, I completely ripped off this blogpost title from this book. It's a collaborative effort by some of Florida's best authors, including Elmore Leonard, Carl Hiassen and Dave Barry, among others. Check it out!

OK, naked manatees...

I was roaming around on Right Wing News, and came across this post about Rachael Ray and manatees.

It seems that manatees have not fared well last year. More are getting plowed under by motorboats, or getting poached and eaten by hungry swamp trash looking for 1200 lbs of "offshore Angus".

The plan on Right Wing News is to let Rachael "I'm On Your TV 24/7" Ray to do a recipe book of 30 Minute Manatee meals, and introduce the USA to a new food source. We would then allow private ranching to take over the manatee ownership and breeding, a la emus and llamas and buffalo, and the profit motive would ensure their continued existence.

I don't know that I buy into the premise, but go read the post. It's worth visiting if for no other reason than the picture of Ms. Ray slurping her full and luscious lips over a ripe strawberry.

The commenters on the post veered off into left field, advocating the installation of lasers on the backs of feral manatees, to be triggered by approaching speedboats.

This reminded me of the 4Chan /b/ meme about "Ima Chargin Mah Lazer!"

Which, of course, led to this set of abominations yesterday afternoon when I shoulda been working...

I'll leave you with this final thought: