Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Monday, October 08, 2007

The Slow Sound Of Sour Suckage

My Fate Is To Be Eaten By My Own Pets

Damn. You'd think I could catch a f#(%!ng break once in a while.

It's not like I'm asking to win the Lotto, or score with a supermodel. Just a temporary loosening of the monetary thumbscrews would suffice...


I take my truck in for a long-overdue oil change last Saturday. I spend another $20 to have them slap in an air filter. While clambering around on the bumper installing the filter, Jose Feliciano Mechanico discovers that something is rotten in Denmark. Also under my hood.

It seems the unibelt is slightly out of alignment, and has caused one of the tensioning wheels to start shedding bits of itself. The grooved teeth on the wheel are separating from the wheel body. The belt has suffered a bit of wear, but nothing too terrible. It's probably good for several thousand more miles.

Unless, of course, you're planning on driving it 800 miles to the far corner of Tennessee in less than a month. Then, you're going to get ass-raped by fate somewhere in mid-Alabama when the whole shebang lets go and strands you in the middle of BumF#ck, Egypt.

In addition, the radiator hoses appear to be original equipment, now with 120,000 miles of delicious steam pressure and the associated rubber rot and minute cracks. Again, they may run for another 50,000 miles.

Not in my universe, kiddies. Seconds after coasting to the side of the road in BFE, the lack of a fan blade will cause a boilover, and all the hoses will explode simultaneously. Things like this probably very rarely happen to you. However, it happens to me all the fuckin' time.

$400 ought to set things right. Coincidentally, that's about what the trip ought to cost. Bear in mind I've still got to get the turn signals and radiator leak squared away. That'll probably double the ante.

So, it pains me to say this, but no blogmeets east of the Mississippi River this year. No Helen, No Etowah, no dice.

Take lots of pictures, my Blowneyed brethren, and make sure they get posted!