My New Favorite Holiday

More Truth Than You Really Want To Hear!

This weekend was my nephew Sammy's 5th birthday party. I hope he had fun. His Uncle Cap sure did...

Sammy received not one, not two, but FIVE Nerf dart guns. Uncle Cap bought him a dart rifle, then I learned that he'd gotten another one from his parents. At the party, Sammy received a pair of dart pistols and an automatic dart flinger from his friends. By the time he opened #5, he had gone from overjoyed to "Gee, ANOTHER one??"

The auto-darter was a hoot. You stick 10 Nerf darts into an en-bloc clip, then pump up an air reservoir 20 or 30 times. You hold down the trigger, and it spits them out about as fast as a Thompson SMG. Seriously, this thing has a cyclic rate of at least 550 RPM.

Next Xmas, he's definitely getting the belt-fed Nerf machine gun! I may have to get one too. And the extra ammo belt. Maybe two or three...

My BIL sprang for a rental bounce-house, so the kids bounced in that for a few hours. Thankfully, no one blew chunks inside or landed on their noggin.

So, what made it my new favorite holiday? It sure as hell wasn't 4 hours of shrieking 5 year olds. I'm too big to go in the bounce house. Didn't have any birthday cake. The Nerf wars were fun, but frankly shooting real guns is more rewarding.

See, the deal is that 5 year olds are just a bit young for a mom to dump off her kid and be back in a few hours. So they stayed and lounged out in the back yard. And not to be too terribly crass, but Uncle Cap suddenly found himself smack-dab in MILF Central... It was a most rewarding and salacious experience.

Oh, here's a gift for kids that you might want to avoid. One more reason I don't much care for my BIL's older brother...