Elevator Hell

I Want To Work In A Small One-Story Office!!

Damn! They did it again! Bastard elevators!!!

I'm sure they eat the souls of the trapped peons foolish enough to ride in 'em. If I wasn't so adverse to exercise, I'd start walking the stairs!

I've written before about our Boxcars of Doom, Groany, Creaky, Jitters, Slowpoke, & Deathtrap.

Three times now, Deathtrap has attempted to consume my corporeal form, and add my soul to the Damned-by-Otis collection.

The first two times, I'd get on, press "X", and have Deathtrap deposit me at "X"+1.
The elevator doors would always hesitate before opening, and then refuse to close again until you hit a higher floor's button.

Just now, I got on at "X"-3, pressed "X", and GLORY BE! The elevator actually stopped at "X". Unfortunately, the doors only opened about 2 inches, and then it wouldn't do anything. A co-worker in the elevator lobby helped my try to pry the doors open, but they weren't budging.

Then, without warning, the doors slammed shut, it dropped down to "X"-5, only the readout said "X"+6! At least the doors opened, and I was able to escape with my soul intact.

I'd write the building management to complain, but they're in on the demonic plot. I'm fairly certain I saw the floor buffer crew spray down the liquid wax in the lobby in the form of a huge pentagram...