Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, June 07, 2012

A Stitch In Time

Tales Of Automotive Woe

Don't you just LOVE throwing away money?? I know I do!!


OK, before I begin the rant, here's the backstory:

Sometime in elementary school, either 2nd or 3rd grade, I can remember having a lesson on some common maxims or sayings. You know, things like "The early bird gets the worm", and "Too many cooks spoil the broth".

I remember being particularly puzzled by "A stitch in time, saves nine." I just couldn't get my head around it. My teacher explained it over and over, but my (even back then) excessively pragmatic brain just couldn't grok the non-grammatical proverb.

See, if it had said "A stitch made now saves making nine stitches later", *THAT* I would have understood immediately. As it was, it just didn't make sense. Nine what? Lives? People? Shirts? And why nine? Why not three or five, or twelve?

So, fast forward 30 years. I still haven't caught on.

I had a new muffler put on the truck a year ago. The old one had rusted into oblivion, and the dual tailpipes had gone a bit walleyed and were banging around the undercarriage.

So, $400 was spent, and a new Flowmaster can was installed, and we're back in business.

Then, about 3 months later, the welds holding the tailpipe hanger straps broke loose from the frame, and my tailpipes started dangling. Damn. Hate when that happens...

Now, a smart man would take it back to the shop that installed it, and have them redo it.

I am not that smart man... I must have a touch of OCD, 'cause I hatehateHATE dicking with my daily routine to go have the truck out of commission for a day.

So, begin 9 months of crawling under the truck every month or so, using coat hangers, baling wire, pipe hanging straps, and old swingset chain to do a slapdash job of hanging the tailpipes and keeping the beater on the road. If I owned a welding torch, this might have all been avoided.

As it was, the redneck engineering (There! I Fixed It!) would hold for a few weeks, then time, vibration, metal fatigue and galactic entropy would cause everything to wiggle loose and fall apart.

That came to a screeching halt yesterday when I heard a merry clanging behind my bumper. I didn't lose the left tailpipe, but it was a near thing.

So, gotta get it welded. No choice this time.

Went to a muffler shop just down the street. It only cost $35 to get it tacked back up, and only took 20 minutes. That 1 year old $400 Flowmaster muffler? Completely fucked up. Gonna need replacement. All due to those pipes swinging about and me not doing anything about it.

Damn it. A stitch in time saves $400, dumbass...