Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Wax On, Wax Off

Dipping Your Nipples In The Hot Wax Is Not Recommended.

Apparently someone was less than enthused about the... um... ambience of the guest bathroom when my sister, BIL and their kids visited last week.

I suppose one of those 99 cent gel air fresheners and a can of Febreze just doesn't cut the funk.

At some point over the weekend, a new appliance made an appearance on the bathroom counter. It's a porcelain gizmo, with a heating unit in the base and a removeable dish that sits on top. You put some sort of aromatic wax in the dish, and it melts into a puddle, making it smell like you're baking chocolate chip cookies in the bathroom.

So, I'm looking at this dish of melted wax, and I get this almost uncontrollable urge to pour a cupful of water into it, just to see what would happen. Would it make a weird emulsion? Immediately congeal the wax?

Probably crack the dish, and spill molten wax all over the bathroom, which is why I didn't do it...

Anyway, it got me thinking about making candles when I was a kid. One of those summertime arts & crafts programs, probably sponsored by the local Y or Parks & Rec, I don't really recall.

Anyway, the candlemaking involved taking an old wax paper milk carton, cutting it in half, threading in a wick, then filling it up with ice cubes.

Then, molten wax was poured in, enveloping the ice cubes and melting them. After it cooled, you peeled off the carton. let the water drain and had a candle full of cavities and gaps where the ice had been. How artsy-fartsy!!

Worst. Candles. Ever.

Must have been a 1970's post-hippie idea. See, with all the holes, if you burned it, it leaked wax everywhere. As an added bonus, every so often you'd hit a pocket of water, often extinguishing the candle.

So, remember! Ice goes in your Tequila Sunrise and your bong, not your candles!!