Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Monday, January 31, 2005


Democrat Overcome By Guilt


In a shocking display of Classic Liberal Guilt, Senator Hillary "Shrieking Harpy" Clinton (D-Whatever State'll Have Her) collapsed upon hearing that there were still poor people in Bangladesh.

Ex-President Bill Clinton was overheard chuckling to an unnamed associate something to the effect of "Hot Damn! Liberal Guilt works better than Roofies! I'm gonna wait until I get to feeling randy, then whisper in her ear about Leonard Peltier. That oughta put her out just long enough I can tear off another piece! That ain't happened since the night Chelsea was conceived, when I told her about Three Mile Island!"

Sen Clinton's staff deny the fainting spell was due to Liberal Guilt, and was instead caused by high arsenic levels in the water. White House staffers dispute this claim, citing the Clinton's insistence upon drinking only bottled water.

"Oh, we don't deny the elevated arsenic levels. " said Billy Joe Fudpate, White House Associate Media Flack. "It's just that if she ain't drinking it, the only way to get it into her system is by absorbing it through the skin like a slimy amphibian, which is, after all, the natural state of most Democratic Senators."

Local amphibians vehemently denied any association.