Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Monkeys In Mesa (Nose-Spewage Alert!)

Crime Dog is the latest culprit in the spew-Dr-Pepper-on-my-monitor contest. Apparently, some cop shop out in Arizona wants to put a monkey on their SWAT team. Not a cool, asskicking Baboonpirate kind of monkey, either...

Here's the money quote (and pic) that had me laughing and spewing DP on my poor abused monitor:
I'm not talking about a big ol' I-don't-take-no-shit-off-nobody silver back gorilla, or even a couple of those mean bastards with the bright red ass and fangs that scares the shit out of everybody. That would be kind of cool. Let me put it this way: If you were holed up in an apartment, all liquored up, wearing your wife-beater tee shirt and NASCAR ball cap, and threatening to dice up your girlfriend with a meat cleaver, and the SWAT team shows up and says:

"Come on out, shit hook, or we're sending this really pissed off monkey with a red ass in there to get you. Your choice."

This standoff would be over yesterday, baby. Over!

Go read it all! And let's hear it for red-assed PO'ed monkeys with pirate hats & cutlasses!