Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

How To Annoy El Capitan - Method # 4547

This kind of corporate behavior is inexcusable!
Colorado man says Budweiser distributor fired him for drinking Coors
Associated Press

DENVER — Ross Hopkins still likes to drink Bud, even though he says a brief tryst with a Coors beer cost him his job at a Budweiser distributor...

...Hopkins, who was a warehouse supervisor for the distributor, said he was not wearing a uniform or representing American Eagle when he was at the bar in May 2003 with some co-workers. He said he had ordered a Budweiser but a waitress brought Coors. He decided to drink it because he didn't want to wait...

If you're going to guarantee me a lifetime job with decent benefits, in return I might be able to agree to only consume your products. These days, however, corporations will sell you down the river just to bump their quarterly return a couple of percentage points. They do not deserve, and can not earn the kind of loyalty demanded here by this pack of assholes.

Now, if the guy was on his route, in uniform, and slurping down a competitor's brew, yeah, by all means call him on the carpet. Off duty, though, is off duty. Your ability to dictate my behavior to me ends when I leave your parking lot at 5 pm.

This kind of behavior by companies cannot be allowed to stand. It's wrong to demand your employees drink only your beer, it's wrong to demand that U.S. automakers don't drive imports, and it's wrong to force people not to engage in any legal activity once they're on their own time!

Where might this lead if other people catch on?

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Capitan. In spite of your 20 years of service to Land o' Lakes Butter company, we caught you putting margarine on your toast. You're fired! What? Doctor's orders to lose weight? Well, too bad. Maybe he'll hire you!"


"Gee, Mr. Capitan, I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go! You see, you work for the City of Poughkeepsie, and we caught you traveling over to Jersey City! We don't allow that!"

Now, for all my ranting and raving over free markets and unrestrained capitalism, I am NOT advocating that the guv'mint step in. This needs to be a market decision. So, let 10,000 people write to Anheuser Busch and to these shitheels and let them know that all A-B products are not going to be purchased for the foreseeable future, and they might just change their mind and their batshit policies.

Fortunately, I find most A-B brews to be unpalatable swill, anyway, so it's not real hard for me to bypass the Michelob Amber Bock for some Shiner.

For the record, all the beverage people I've ever met (manager level & up), be it beer, soda, whatever, are generally all this fanatical about brand loyalty. Guys, you're selling sugar water and fermented rice juice. Take a deep breath, and get the fuck over yourselves!