Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

My Photo
Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Weekend Survey #11

Well, it's been a while since I've lifted something from Sheila's blog. It's one in what looks to be a series of weekend surveys she got from this blog, and naturally, I couldn't wait for the weekend. Or, I procrastinated too long to do it last weekend, take your pick.

1. Name three people you consider heroes.
Teddy Roosevelt
Jimmy Stewart
Anyone who's ridden a rocket into space.

2. What qualities attract you to others?
Loyalty. I don't play the fickle friend game. Either we're friends, or we're not. Let's not fuck around about it.

Discretion. Friends help you move. REAL friends help you move bodies.

Having an open mind, and the ability to change. Like it or not, the world is in shades of gray, not a black/white dichotomy. If you can't flex, you're gonna break.

3. What qualities do you think other people are attracted to in you?
I honestly haven't got a f#*$&ng clue. I possess a moderate wit, a head full of extensive but scattered knowledge, and I'm a pretty good listener, mostly 'cause I don't like unloading my issues on someone else. Beyond that, I'm about fresh out of pleasant qualities.

Oh, wait, there is something. I don't mind making trips out to the airport to pick up & drop off people.

4. Where do you want to go today?
To the nearest habitable planet with a shipload of like-minded individuals.

5. What's your favorite curse word?
Goddammit!! Why'd you ask me that! Goddammit!!

6. What lights you up and blisses you out?
A big fat minnow of Skunk #1. But since I live under the threat of random urinalysis, I'll go with a Sonic Lemon Slush with about 3 fingers of Absolut Citron added.

Oh yeah, better go for a good novel, a fresh glass of iced tea, and world peace while we're at it.

7. What qualities do you dislike in others?
Being too full of yourself. Trust me, most people aren't all that special. Even the President of the U.S. is replaceable.

People that try too hard. Just relax and be yourself. Of course, if "yourself" is a raging egomaniac, we're gonna have some issues.

Zealotry. Take a chill pill, dude. You can re-commence converting the heathen or chastising the wicked on Monday. For now, just have a beer and let's chat.

8. Do you speak any foreign languages?
I've got enough Spanish to get a drink, a meal, a room, a woman or a fight in Juarez or Nuevo Laredo. I can understand a good deal of written French & Italian, but can't speak either worth a damn.

9. Recommend a book you think readers should check out.
Emily Post's Guide To Etiquette. The proletariat truly have appalling manners these days.

10. Angels are to cargo nets as _____ is to swimsuit mishaps. inane analogy question...

11. Name at least one person you'd have a fling with (besides your significant other - I'm looking for celebs here.)
My Monica Bellucci fascination is extremely well documented by now! Julianna Margulies and Jennifer Connelly also have express permission to eat crackers in my bed at any time.

12. What happens when we die?
Having been the instigator of numerous cute little Bambis and widdle fuzzy bunnies sudden and violent demise, I've watched the death process up close. By process of extrapolation, and the possible existence of human souls notwithstanding, I'm kind of thinking we just fade to black, and become a chunk o' cooling meat once the synapses die down. I'd like to think there's an afterlife awaiting us all, but despite the claims of snake-oil salesmen for the past 10,000 years, none of us will ever really know until its our time to die. Maybe not even then.

13. Do you believe in anything supernatural?
Not really. Does the collective unconscious qualify? How about karma?

14. How would you rate George Bush's job performance?
C minus. If he locks down the borders, supports a national sales tax, and tells the U.N. to go fuck themselves, I'll raise it to a B. Arranging a Buddy Holly-style plane ride for Teddy Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, Charles Schumer, Barbara Boxer and Cynthia McKinney will earn him enough extra credit for a B+.

15. Why is the sky blue?
'Cause purple would clash with the oceans.