Thank God For Cold Showers
Otherwise We'd Be Hip-deep In Dead Kittens*
I try so hard to be a respectable citizen... to not be overtly lecherous or a perverted creepazoid.
However, I've come to the realization that it's society itself that's dragging me kicking and screaming towards dirty old man-hood! Well, OK, it's more of a polite "Please step this way, sir" as opposed to actual dragging.
I've mentioned the jail-bait chickadee that lives next door before. You'd think if you were the parents of a gen-u-wine hottie, you'd perhaps be more circumspect in her allowable attire and actions. Nope, not here. They may be hard-core Bible-beaters, but by God they sure seem to enjoy near-nekkid teenage girls layin' about.
The fine folks next door bought a pool. Not an in-ground pool, just one of the cheapo inflatable ones. Did they put it in their backyard behind a privacy fence, as required by law? Oh, no. It's in their driveway right outside their garage, right next to my driveway, in full view of the entire cul de sac.
So, sometime yesterday afternoon, Little Miss Hardbody decides to put on a little show for her younger sister and friend, involving a very small bikini, lots of water, and the best strip-club pole dance ever performed without the pole in an inflatable pool.
How do I know this? 'Cause I caught the last 30 seconds as I was pulling into the driveway. I'll say this, Cadillac does make a quiet engine. I got an eyeful of three pelvic thrusts (that really drive you insayayayayane!), one back arch and a two handed breast-cupping before she realized she had company and dashed for the back yard. I felt like dashing in the house myself, but for an entirely different reason.
I think I could have been pretty blasé about the whole thing, but the icing on the cake was the Confederate Battle Flag bikini. Damnation if that don't make a Southern boy wanta stand up and salute!
Sigh. I hope they get her married off soon. I mean, where's the ACLU to come prevent my Gitmo-style "torture"?
*Oh, here's the Dead Kitten reference explained...
I try so hard to be a respectable citizen... to not be overtly lecherous or a perverted creepazoid.
However, I've come to the realization that it's society itself that's dragging me kicking and screaming towards dirty old man-hood! Well, OK, it's more of a polite "Please step this way, sir" as opposed to actual dragging.
I've mentioned the jail-bait chickadee that lives next door before. You'd think if you were the parents of a gen-u-wine hottie, you'd perhaps be more circumspect in her allowable attire and actions. Nope, not here. They may be hard-core Bible-beaters, but by God they sure seem to enjoy near-nekkid teenage girls layin' about.
The fine folks next door bought a pool. Not an in-ground pool, just one of the cheapo inflatable ones. Did they put it in their backyard behind a privacy fence, as required by law? Oh, no. It's in their driveway right outside their garage, right next to my driveway, in full view of the entire cul de sac.
So, sometime yesterday afternoon, Little Miss Hardbody decides to put on a little show for her younger sister and friend, involving a very small bikini, lots of water, and the best strip-club pole dance ever performed without the pole in an inflatable pool.
How do I know this? 'Cause I caught the last 30 seconds as I was pulling into the driveway. I'll say this, Cadillac does make a quiet engine. I got an eyeful of three pelvic thrusts (that really drive you insayayayayane!), one back arch and a two handed breast-cupping before she realized she had company and dashed for the back yard. I felt like dashing in the house myself, but for an entirely different reason.
I think I could have been pretty blasé about the whole thing, but the icing on the cake was the Confederate Battle Flag bikini. Damnation if that don't make a Southern boy wanta stand up and salute!
Sigh. I hope they get her married off soon. I mean, where's the ACLU to come prevent my Gitmo-style "torture"?
*Oh, here's the Dead Kitten reference explained...
posted by El Capitan | 11:21 AM
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