Topping The Camel Joke

Because Honor Demands It

Kurt of A Trainwreck In Maxwell dragged out the old camel joke, so I must post a joke even more tasteless. It's not so much the need to exceed him in tastelessness, but more a knee-jerk reaction to the camel joke. I've heard that one told in so many ways by so many people that I've got a personal grudge against it.

So, without further ado, here's a worse joke than the camel joke.

A young cowhand takes a job wintering on a large cattle ranch with only a foreman, a crew of 5 and an old Chinese cook. They are to spend the entire winter snowed in on a high valley ranch, to make & mend gear during the winter months while keeping an eye on the cattle.

Day after day is spent riding & mending fence, pulling cows out of snowdrifts, and making harness and lariats for the spring roundup. It's hard work, and mighty lonesome for young men used to having womenfolk around.

After the first month, the young cowhand is getting downright horny. He's been taking matters in hand, but the shine's about worn off, and he's wanting to get his ashes hauled proper-like. He goes to the foreman to ask advice.

"I got me a powerful urge for a woman!" he tells the foreman. "How 'bout we go bust some trail and head on down to Belle Fourche and get us some sportin' gals!"

The foreman chuckled. "Well, won't be no wimmen folks for any of us until after the spring thaw. You'd freeze before you've gone twenty mile. If you're tired of Rosie Palm, best do what we do."

"What's that?" asked the cowhand.

"Grab a fistful of lard outta the bucket, and then go relieve yourself using ol' Chin Lee." replied the foreman.

"The Chinee cook?" exclaimed the cowhand. "I ain't havin' none o' that!"

"Well, suit yerself!" said the foreman. "It's all the tail there is until April!"

A week or so goes by, and the foreman notices the young cowpoke is just purely miserable.

"Ya durned fool!" he says. "Quit being so particular, and go git yourself some of that Chin Lee!"

"Hell, no!" replies the cowhand. "I told ya, I ain't havin' none o' that!"

Several more weeks crawl by, and the young cowpoke is now starting to get a chubby when the wind blows. Finally, he can stand it no more.

"OK," he tells the foreman. "I'm about to burst. I've got to do something, anything! to relieve myself. I'm gonna try out Chin Lee."

"Well, OK then," replies the foreman. "Let me get a few of the boys gathered up ta see that this gets done right."

The cowhand replies "You mean everyone's gonna watch! Hell no! I ain't havin' none o' that!"

"It ain't to watch, ya tinhorn!" said the foreman. "It's ta hold ol' Chin Lee down. See, given his druthers, he ain't havin' none of that either!"