Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, January 13, 2006

More Movie Reviews

Bookstores Look Better & Better All The Time

Seen a passel o' movies lately. Been staying home nights, and the urge to spend some money at the local video peddler was overwhelming. I ought to get a partial refund for some of these awful flicks, though.

Sorry if you're expecting a more in-depth review. Most of these don't require more than a sentence or two!

Fantastic Four - Fantastic Flop. Muddled story, miscast actors, lame villain, so-so effects. Even Jessica Alba's toned little tuckus wasn't enough to keep me interested. Yes, I'm aware it's just a comic book movie. Let me refer you back to Batman Begins. THAT was a comic book movie!

Mr. & Mrs. Smith - OK, so I sometimes long for an afternoon spent lingually exploring every square inch of Angelina Jolie on a whipped cream-covered trampoline. (Only after thoroughly scrubbing her in Listerine to remove every last trace of Billy Bob...) This level of animal magnetism doesn't mean she can act worth a damn, though. The gadgets were fun, the guns were numerous, but the plot was DOA.

Four Brothers - Four Boys N The Hood. Early on, you're treated to the sight of Wahlberg taking a dump. Kinda sets the tone for the rest of the movie.

The Great Raid - Typical WWII flick. Good guys win, bad guys die in a hail of machinegun fire. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hit pause and go take a leak.

Kinsey - I enjoyed this flick about Albert Kinsey and his studies on human sexuality a lot more than I thought I would. I rented it after seeing a brief snippet on HBO, and have no hesitations in recommending it. NOT a movie to watch with kids about, though!

War Of The Worlds - This moovie's like a Spootnik! Mostly round, but quite pointy in parts! Didn't much like it, but there were several scenes that were oddly gripping. Cruise did an OK job.

The 40 Year Old Virgin - Funniest movie I've seen in a while! It's perverted, a bit misogynistic, uncouth, and completely enjoyable! Don't miss the excerpts and deleted scenes!! You know how I know you're gay? You're still reading this review!

The Brothers Grimm - Haven't seen this one yet. It's on the agenda for tonight or tomorrow. With any luck, it'll be more entertaining than Van Helsing, and I won't have to watch Heath Ledger play hide-the-salami with another flannel-clad sheepherder. Has Monica Bellucci in it, but I know there won't be nearly enough of her lovely tanned Italian hide shown, since it's a PG-13 movie.