Ancient Eddie

Don't 'Jump', Eddie, You'll Break A Hip!

Oh... mah...Ghod...

I cannot believe this picture of Eddie Van Halen from the Oscars. He looks to be older than Keef Richards, and that's no mean feat!

Here's Eddie as I remember him:


Here's the 2006 Eddie:


Wow. What a difference two decades makes. Then again, if I had the chance to bang Valerie Bertinelli for 20 years, I'd be worn down to a dry husk, too!

This one's for you, Eddie. Keep rockin'!!

To the Tune of Van Halen's "Panama"

Jump back, what's that sound ?
Got-damn, that's my colon shuttin' down!
Luby's Special, cloggin' up my guts again,
Two hours parked on the can tonight...

Don't you know that there's a cure for me?
I get one once a week!
I'm due for an....

Chorus:
Enema, Enema
Enema, Enema

Ain't nothin' like it, that nozzle that gleams.
Got the feel for the hose, keep my colon real clean.
Hot brew, burnin' through my backed-up poo,
Got an on-ramp comin' through my dookie chute,

Don't you know that there's a cure for me?
I get one once a week!
I'll get an...

Chorus
Enema, Enema
Enema, Enema

Yeah, we're runnin' a little bit hot tonight.
I can barely see the bag from the heat comin' off of it.
Ah, you reach down, between my legs,
yank the hose out....

She's crying, poo's flying,
Right behind and onto the mirror now.
Ain't no shirking, power squirting,
Sphincter popping, ain't no stopping now!

Chorus
Enema, Enema
Enema, Enema

Enema!!