Xylophagous Bastards!!

What's Next? Carnivorous Squirrels??

Termites. It hadda be termites.

I'd suspected for some time there were some verminous troublemakers lurking under the house. The swarm of little winged "ants" last spring might have tipped me off. Well, that and the lintel post in the doorway to the TV room being gnawed upon until it looked like one of those sugar wafer cookies sans the creme filling. Found out that cheery bit of good news when the drywall was stripped off the doorway in preparation for installing some pocket doors.

So far it looks like they've confined their assault to the TV room, which was an add-on to the house back around the time Nixon was not yet a crook. They've swarmed into the main bathroom, though, and I fear they've built a colony on that side of the house.

Dammit. I'd planned on living here for quite a spell. I'm not sure I want to put up with tenting the house and doing a full-scale fumigation. When things reach that stage, you're better off calling in an arsonist and collecting on the insurance.

The Orkin guy will be out early next week to plant those dildo-looking devices around the perimeter, and do some spot-spraying.

Hmmph. Wonder if I can breed cockroaches that feed on termites? I bet I'd make a boatload of cash, right up to the point where the roaches mutated on their own, and took on the feeding habits of mosquitoes...