When The Fan Takes A Shit
Oscillus Fanii Mortuus Est. Nos Perspiraturi Salutamus!
Bah, I hate being up at 3:30 am. I really hate being up at 3:30 am trying to clean enough cat hair and accumulated dust bunnies out of my oscillating fan so that it'll turn on again, and I can get back to sleep.
I'm one of those people that "sleep hot". Unless I've got a fan pointed at me, my face gets all sweaty & warmish while I sleep, and I toss & turn all night. There's only so many times you can flip the pillow over to the cool side, before there is no more cool side.
I've had this pedestal fan for probably 4 years now. I guess I've gotten my $22 worth of use out of it. Fans are really freakin' hard to find at retail stores in November, though. I doubt I'll find this model again. Everyone's gone to the slim uprights, that use a vertical 'squirrel cage' blower. They take up less real estate, but they don't put out the air flow like a blade fan.
It's hard to get a good fan that'll blow at Mach 2. They certainly don't make 'em like they used to. I had one as a kid that probably dated from the late '40s to early '50s. This thing was a monster. It probably weighed 30 pounds, and the whole thing, from base to safety cage was made of chrome-plated steel, and the motor was housed in a torpedo-looking case about 8 inches in diameter and a foot in length.
The blade was the true marvel. Twin-bladed like a biplane prop, it was jet black, and probably made of bakelite or some proto-plastic material. The damn thing spun at probably 10,000 rpm, and would literally push you backwards. Well, if you were a skinny 8 year old kid, anyway. Sitting behind the fan, it put out a low frequency hum that sounded for all the world like a B-17 engine. That fan and an empty refrigerator box made for many a '30 Seconds Over Tokyo' and 'Twelve O'Clock High' adventure for me & my friends. Sadly, it gave up the ghost 25 years ago, and no one could repair it. The brushes and contacts for the electric motor just didn't exist anymore.
Speaking of B-17 engines, I saw this piece on TV where someone had mounted a B-17 engine & prop vertically, put a safety cage on top, and used it for skydiving training. If you wore baggy clothes that caught the wind, you could jump out into the propwash and just bob along on the airflow. As long as you steered yourself correctly and didn't slide off the airflow, you'd hang there indefinitely. That sounds like a perfect sleeping arrangement! Just rig up a tether rig to keep me centered, and sleep in "free fall" all night! You'd need some big honkin' earplugs, though.
I've shanghaied the blower fan the contractor is using to dry out the wall texture that's getting applied in the living room & dining room. He'll probably want it back, I imagine. Guess a trip to Lowe's or Home Depot is on the agenda. This thing puts out a pretty good breeze!
Bah, I hate being up at 3:30 am. I really hate being up at 3:30 am trying to clean enough cat hair and accumulated dust bunnies out of my oscillating fan so that it'll turn on again, and I can get back to sleep.
I'm one of those people that "sleep hot". Unless I've got a fan pointed at me, my face gets all sweaty & warmish while I sleep, and I toss & turn all night. There's only so many times you can flip the pillow over to the cool side, before there is no more cool side.
I've had this pedestal fan for probably 4 years now. I guess I've gotten my $22 worth of use out of it. Fans are really freakin' hard to find at retail stores in November, though. I doubt I'll find this model again. Everyone's gone to the slim uprights, that use a vertical 'squirrel cage' blower. They take up less real estate, but they don't put out the air flow like a blade fan.
It's hard to get a good fan that'll blow at Mach 2. They certainly don't make 'em like they used to. I had one as a kid that probably dated from the late '40s to early '50s. This thing was a monster. It probably weighed 30 pounds, and the whole thing, from base to safety cage was made of chrome-plated steel, and the motor was housed in a torpedo-looking case about 8 inches in diameter and a foot in length.
The blade was the true marvel. Twin-bladed like a biplane prop, it was jet black, and probably made of bakelite or some proto-plastic material. The damn thing spun at probably 10,000 rpm, and would literally push you backwards. Well, if you were a skinny 8 year old kid, anyway. Sitting behind the fan, it put out a low frequency hum that sounded for all the world like a B-17 engine. That fan and an empty refrigerator box made for many a '30 Seconds Over Tokyo' and 'Twelve O'Clock High' adventure for me & my friends. Sadly, it gave up the ghost 25 years ago, and no one could repair it. The brushes and contacts for the electric motor just didn't exist anymore.
Speaking of B-17 engines, I saw this piece on TV where someone had mounted a B-17 engine & prop vertically, put a safety cage on top, and used it for skydiving training. If you wore baggy clothes that caught the wind, you could jump out into the propwash and just bob along on the airflow. As long as you steered yourself correctly and didn't slide off the airflow, you'd hang there indefinitely. That sounds like a perfect sleeping arrangement! Just rig up a tether rig to keep me centered, and sleep in "free fall" all night! You'd need some big honkin' earplugs, though.
I've shanghaied the blower fan the contractor is using to dry out the wall texture that's getting applied in the living room & dining room. He'll probably want it back, I imagine. Guess a trip to Lowe's or Home Depot is on the agenda. This thing puts out a pretty good breeze!
posted by El Capitan | 3:57 AM
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