Major Announcement

Extra, Extra, Read All About It, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda...

After giving it much thought, I've decided to move to France and become the new Sun King. I'll also be switching sexual orientations and becoming as gay as a tree full of parrots. In addition, I'll be having goat glands implanted in my extremities, just for those festive occasions.

I'll spend my day wandering the Rive Gauche, spraying Lysol everywhere in a futile effort to reduce the overpowering piss aroma. Evenings will be spent taunting tourists at the Louvre, and then I'll cap off my evening with some creative onanism under the Arc de Triomphe.

Life will be sweet. It's good to be King. Vive le Roi!



OK, maybe not. Happy April Fool's Day, y'all.