I Hate Min-Pins

Poodles Move Up From Last Place...

Are all dogs under knee-height destined to be annoying yappers?

My next-door neighbors have been on a dog acquisition spree. Three dogs in the last 10 months. First came Muttface, the mentally-deficient pit bull. Aside from her tendency to crap on my side of the property line, she's OK.

Next came Taco, the chihuahua. Taco's quiet, and mostly trembles a lot. I keep waiting for the big barn owl I've seen around the neighborhood to swoop in and carry him off.

This latest one, though... My neighbor's #2 kid came back from Jacksonville, FLA with a Cubano wife, a small brown chubby kid, and this got-damned miniature pinscher.

I haven't had the greatest of experiences with Min-Pins. I went camping with Jenni and her assorted crew of buccaneers several years back, and this couple brought along a Min-Pin named Saber.

This is how most of the weekend went:

BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!!

"SAY-BUR!"

BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!!

"SAY-BUR, HUSH!"

BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!!

"SAY-BUR, BE QUIET!"

BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!!!!

"SAY-BUR, GODDAMMIT, HUSH UP!"

I considered consigning Saber to the campfire more than once, but there's no way I could have avoided the fistfight immediately afterwards. I'm too old to go rolling in the dirt for anything not life-threatening.

So, there's this new Min-Pin in my life, and it's about as annoying as can be. It'll come right up to barking furiously, then slowly back off as you turn to face it. As soon as you move away, it's right at your ankles, growling and barking.

Now, it hasn't bitten me yet, which is why it's still alive. I can stand a dog barking at me, but I'll be damned if it gets a free chomp while I'm standing on my property.

This new Min-Pin's name is Canyon, probably because that's what you want to toss it into.

It's a pretty long drive out to the nearest farm & ranch supply store, but I think I'll take the trip. I'm sure I can still pick up a cattle prod for less than 50 bones. They work quite well on evil little dogs...