This Will Perk You Up

Juan Valdez Is Now Growing Coca Plants

I ran across these espresso-drink guides this morning over at BoingBoing. Apparently, people need a chart to remember how to make the super-poofter varieties of coffee.



Flat white? Cafe Macchiato? WTF?

Here's an idea for you, boho-boy.



Put that in your mug and drink it. We used to make cowboy coffee at Scout camp by tying a fistful of coffee grounds and a big pinch of salt into a sweaty old bandana, then tossing the bandana into a 2 gallon coffee pot. You'd then set the pot into the coals until it started boiling out the spout, then see which of the kids would be brave enough to finish a cup.


I like my coffee like I like my women! Strong & Hot! With a spoon in them!
(OK, that's an Eddie Izzard joke...)

I'll finish up with a coffee song. This was written by Alan Wooley, lead guitar and singer for Killbilly, the band I roadied for when I was in college.

Artist: KILLBILLY
Song: WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE

Well, you think I'm unaware of what you're doin'
Believe me when I say there's trouble brewin'
I'm smart enough to know when I've been had
But the heat is on, and now I'm steamin' mad
My friends all say you're hangin' out with Joe (good ol' Joe!)
What you see in that slow drip, I'll never know.

I'm tired of all your runnin' round
Spreadin' lies all over town
I'm boilin' mad
And I think I've got the grounds
I'll take a lump or maybe two
but Sugar when it comes to you
I say these words, I hope you'll understand
Wake up and smell the coffee, if you can.

Now I know you'll never treat me like you should
and I'd leave you in instant if I could
But Honey, you're the sweetest thing in town
And though I try, I just can't put you down.
I've caused a stir, now there's no turning back,
For without you, my future would be black.

I'm tired of all your runnin' round
Spreadin' lies all over town
I'm boilin' mad
And I think I've got the grounds
I'll take a lump or maybe two
but Sugar when it comes to you
I say these words, I hope you'll understand
Wake up and smell the coffee, if you can.

Though in the past we two have disagreed
Just a spoonful of your love is all I need
How I long to hold you and let you know
While I whisper words of love so sweet'n'low
my love is hot and strong and will not stop;
you know it will be good to the last drop

I'm tired of all your runnin' round
Spreadin' lies all over town
I'm boilin' mad
And I think I've got the grounds
I'll take a lump or maybe two
but Sugar when it comes to you
I say these words, I hope you'll understand
Wake up and smell the coffee, if you can.

Wake up and smell the coffee,
Wake up and smell the coffee,
Wake up and smell the coffee, if you can.