The Burrito From Hell

The Continuing Saga Of Stuff I Can't Eat

So yesterday I'm taking a shortcut through the breakroom on the way back from the can, and I see one of my co-workers pulling something out of the microwave that smelled delicious. Well, the simple truth is, she smelled delicious, but taking a little nibble to find out how she tasted would get my ass tossed to the curb...

She was microwaving a burrito from Chipotle. I like their food, but I haven't eaten there in a long while. Since it's served out of a paper bag, I still consider it fast food, so it's been off the "LOLA Approved" list since last fall.

Even though they start out with a flour tortilla the size of a pillowcase, I looked up their nutritional information on their website just to see if there was a chance of being able to eat there. Heh. Wrong...

Here's the breakdown of a single burrito:

Tortilla - 290 cals
Rice - 130 cals
Black Beans - 120 cals
Grilled Veggies - 20 cals
Carnitas (Grilled Pig) - 190 cals
Red Tomatillo Salsa - 40 cals
Cheese - 100 cals
Sour Cream - 120 cals
Guacamole - 150 cals

Jeebus H. Keerist! 1160 calories in one burrito!

OK, so you could knock off 370 of those calories by cutting out the queso, crema y guacamole, but that'd mean one dry,. boring burrito.

What I can't figure is how the woman who admittedly hates to exercise can eat like that and stay a size 4...