Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Local Humor

Fun Is Where You Find It!

Sent the following graphic to a local business that has some of its shrubbery overgrowing into the intersection and blocking the view of oncoming traffic.

Hopefully they'll take the hint and treat the bush to a Brazilian wax job or a big jug of defoliant.

Earlier this morning I had the overwhelming pleasure of trying to find an open parking spot in the Central Business District downtown.

The Man has spent umpteen thousand dollars on these "smart" parking meters, but the ones anywhere near you want to park are usually out of order. Rather than allow you a day or two of free parking while they repair it, the greed-crazed shysters & tire-booting fascists employees of the Parking Management office usually hang a big green bag on the meter, post a "Park Here & We'll Tow Your Ass" sign for a few weeks and reap the higher rewards from tow fees.

I finally found an open spot two blocks from my destination, and shelled out the $5 tariff. Came back to find some assmunching douche had parked his Mercedes so close behind my pickup, his bumper was tucked underneath my tailgate.

I gotta wonder sometimes... When you buy a Mercedes, do you automatically receive an overweening sense of entitlement along with the car? When you take it in for service, does the dealership hook you up to an ego-inflation machine permanently set to "Insufferable Prick"?

Grrrr... Usually my wrath is reserved for the Mercedes SL drivers that treat Memorial Drive as their personal Nürburgring. Today I added the C-class sedans to that list.

The only bright spot came from the ticket the Mercedes driver had received for parking and not paying the meter. Naturally, I HAD to add insult to injury, so I got out my handy little notepad and tucked the following missive under the ticket envelope:

"Congratuations! Not only are you a cheap bastard that didn't pay to park, you park like a complete douchebag. Enjoy that ticket, dickhead!"

The driver parked in front of me got into his car and drove off as I was writing the note, so I didn't get to play my favorite game. You know, the one called "Which One Is Greater? My engine horsepower, or the friction coefficient of your tires on the pavement??

Drat! I really wanted to play that game...