Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Project LOLA: Day 450

This Is Awfully Close To An Extended Whine. Be Warned.

Wow. Day 450 of the Long Overdue Lifestyle Adjustment. A long way from Day 365, and even longer to get to Day 730.

Can't say if there's gonna be an end point. Once you get on this crazy train, you really don't get off without a catastrophic derailment.

I talked to my Doc about what target weight I should aim for. It's hard to point to an ideal weight when you've been obese since high school. His reply was that if I could hit 250 and stay there, he'd never say "You need to lose some weight" to me ever again.

OK, sounds good to me. I may never fit into some size 36 jeans, but I can live with being a 44 or 46. Some pants size that's available for purchase in any store, and be damned if I'll ever set foot in a Big & Tall store again...

As much as I hate getting out and exercising, it's got to start being a daily routine. My rate of weight loss has dropped from around 12 lbs a month to somewhere around 9 lbs a month. Yeah, it's still going down, but I'm starting to get impatient, and with impatience comes frustration, and with frustration comes self-medicating with cheeseburgers and Supreme pizzas. I *REALLY* need to avoid that sort of thing.

I haven't really talked about the emotional side of LOLA. At times like this I wish I could be more like Old Crankypants, and just open up a vein and let all the pent-up vitriol pour out.

For starters, it's more than just impatience at wanting to fit into an airline seat, or shop at where everyone else buys clothes. It's a growing amount of self-directed anger at being in this condition in the first place. Of ignoring every person in the last 32 years who said "Hey, you really shouldn't eat that much", and "C'mon and go exercise with us". Of wanting a wife & kids and knowing you're 15-20 years behind all your friends in that regard, and the impossible uphill climb of trying to jump into the dating scene and eventually start a family in your mid-40's...

There are no guarantees in life. There's every possibility that after 3+ years of starvation and thousands of dollars in cosmetic surgery to re-upholster my sagging carcass that I'll still end up with a thrice-divorced shrew and a pre-fab family of red-haired stepchildren and all the baggage that comes with it. Congratulations, El Capitan! You win the consolation prize and also, YOU'RE THE NEW MR. CONGENIALTY!!!

Sorry, that's the anger poking through...

Well, as you can see, there's more than just the weight issue to work out.

More news as it happens, friends & neighbors, and as always, thanks for your continued support!!