Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

My Photo
Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Father's Day Gift Ideas

Assuming Your Dad Is Alan Quatermain Or Hans Gruber...

A couple of interesting selections in today's "New Arrivals" at Collector's Firearms!

First up... A double rifle in the manly & effective caliber of .500 Nitro Express!

Manufactured by Merkel, this particular rifle is supposedly the prototype for the .500NE Merkel double gun.

The pictures just don't do justice to how burly a big double rifle is. Unlike a double shotgun, with thin walled tubes which should float through your swing, a double rifle feels more like a length of iron pipe. An exquisitely blued and engraved iron pipe, but definitely hefty and robust.

With each cartridge roughly the size of a Brinkman AA flashlight, you'll have no problem dropping anything in its tracks on whatever continent you happen to find yourself on. In fact, if you find yourself in a time warp to the Cretaceous Period, this ought to do a number on most wandering sauropods & therapods.

It ain't cheap. With sales tax, you're looking at just under $12,500. Oh, and each shot will cost you about $16.

(Click To Embiggenate!)

Next up is a Kraut buzz-gun. A Heckler & Koch MP5 in 9mm, good for most two-legged critters, providing they're not wearing body armor.

This one comes with a lot of BATFEIEIO paperwork. You'll need a tax stamp for the auto sear, for the suppressor, and for the short barrel. That's $600 and several months of paperwork even before you drop just short of $20,000 once you pay the tariff plus tax.

Still, it'll run through 9mm ammo like shit through a goose. I've shot one in giggle-mode (without a silencer), and it's about as much fun as you can have while standing upright and with your pants on.

So, if you've got some serious wherewithal to treat Dad, here's the way to do it!!