Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Food Network RCOB

I Can't Explain It.  Just Deal With It...

I'm a generally easygoing guy.  I do get seriously annoyed from time to time, and there has been the odd occasion where an ongoing situation at work or at home has had me at a slow simmer for weeks on end, but it takes a lot for me to raise my voice and speak with anger.

Not to say it doesn't happen, but you just don't see it too often.

Also, being a kid that grew up in the 70's and 80's, I've seen my share of crappy TV programs.  From the brain-dead sitcoms to the hokey celebrity "variety shows", I've probably ingested enough TV slime to kill most mortals.

So, it must take something really, really special on the tube to put El Capitan in an apoplectic mood...

For those of you blogreaders with long memories, Kim du Toit used to blog about the Red Curtain Of Blood, that blinding crimson haze that falls across your vision when you go beyond angry into the realm of the supremely pissed off.

The RCOB appeared.  It was solely the result of this individual:

That ...person... is Nadia Giosia, who has somehow wangled a "cooking" show on cable.

There is nothing... NOTHING!! redeeming about "Nadia G's Bitchin' Kitchen".  It's televised hog vomit.

In a just world, Nadia would enter a room full of canned peaches, each Mason jar bursting with botulism.  At the sound of her grating voice they would all explode in a cataclysm of glass shards and flying toxic spores, and she would quietly expire after the end of a long and futile hospital stay.

Alas, this is unlikely to happen.  The botulin spores would be no match for the concentrated Evil that oozes from her pores.

Avoid at all costs, my friends.  The first time she does that nose twitch, you might think it's cute.  After a dozen times, you'll wish her eaten by badgers, too...