Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

One Man, One Vote, One $55,000 Bribe!

I'm all kinds of amused over the quartet of Tennessee legislators getting busted in a bribery sting. Sure, it's a bit of schadenfreude on my part, to be certain, but I'm just glad to see the FBI doing something other than shake down librarians for their patron's reading lists.

This guy, the ex-Sen. John Ford,(who just formally resigned his Senate seat) should have known better. You never NEVER dress like a cheap Mafioso hood while you're in office! It just attracts all kinds of attention from people with pre-signed RICO warrants!

OK, John, here's a few fashion tips on how to look trustworthy & statesman-like, instead of flashy & dodgy. You must cease & desist with:

a) The pinky ring. I've never seen anyone wear one who wasn't a little shady, myself included. (I have long since renounced the habit)

b) The French cuffs and cuff links. Dude. This ain't 1978 anymore.

c) The gold watch. Just a bit flash for a civil servant, John. Go for a Timex.

d) The shaded glasses. This is the big no-no. Only people who desire to hide their eyes wear tinted glasses indoors. The only reason to hide your eyes is a need to keep others from reading your intentions. You're not playing poker, Ford, you just look like a scumbag.

This was the caption of the picture:
Sen. John Ford, D-Memphis, is shown during a committee meeting Wednesday, May 25, 2005, in Nashville, Tenn. Ford is one of four state lawmakers indicted Thursday, May 26, in a federal bribery investigation. Ford is also charged with witness intimidation, which includes telling an undercover agent that "if he caught someone trying to set him up he would shoot that person, kill them, so there would be no witnesses," the indictment says.

Hmmmm... Yep, definitely a scumbag. Hope he gets 20 years.