Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Why Men Remain Immature

'Cause otherwise, these female behaviors would drive us insane!

OK, after reading Dash's blog and seeing a link to this post poking fun at immature men I just had to speak up on behalf of the male gender.

Sure, we're immature. After all, if we had to deal with these types of female idiosyncracies in a mature manner, we'd likely burst a blood vessel!

I give you the following examples:

Inability to learn "sharing", at least in relation to bedcovers.

That bizarro shopping obsession.

No explanation needed here.

They say women make better pilots than men. If that's the case, PLEASE hurry up with the Jetsons-style aircars!!

The relentless urge for a huge fairytale wedding y'all carry from the time you're 3 years old. No, it's not romantic to save all that cash spent on a humungazoid wedding and put it towards a larger house, or college funds, but it's eminently more practical. Plus, this is real life, not a soap opera. The reason rich people have huge weddings is, well, THEY'RE F#%&ING RICH!! Impoverishing yourselves or your parents to fulfill some wish fantasy strikes me as really selfish.

(Note to all the horrified women now realizing they're possibly in the presence of a mysogynist: Relax! Nothing could be further from the truth. It's just that after a lifetime of calling "bullshit" on my friends when they leave the bounds of reality, I have a hard time not doing that to women, even when you're purty and smell real nice!)

(Further Note: If you're the type of gal that would love to get married in a drive-thru chapel in Las Vegas by an Elvis impersonator, we need to talk!)

(Even Further Note: Yes, there's a good probability that posts like this are why I'm still single...)