No Way I'm Touching That Melon.

So I'm walking through Tranquility Park on my way into the office this morning, when I spy with my little eye a watermelon just sitting there underneath a tree.

Wasn't much of a watermelon, really. Barely as big as a basketball. Still, they're not known to be a free-ranging species, so I was sort of curious how it came to be there.

That hour of the morning, Tranquility Park has a collection of homeless types sleeping on park benches, but the park was empty today. Just me and that watermelon. Mmmm... I do like watermelon.

Of course, as soon as I thought about taking a closer look, something held me back. I mean, really, how often do you see watermelons free for the taking in downtown parks? This thing had to be wired to a hidden camera or something. I go to pick it up, it explodes and covers me with goo, and you all get to watch it on America's Funniest Videos, or Punk'd, or some similar show. No way, José.

No, the watermelon stayed where it lay. I'll get one from the store this evening.