Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, December 09, 2005

Anyone Got Any Asslube?

BOHICA.... RUTA!!!!*

Well, all you Apple haters, get out your whetstones and sharpen up your "Told Ya So!" pokers...

Got deeply ass-boned this time. What could have been a simple fix to THEIR mistake is now gonna cost me another week without a home computer, and quite possibly force me to miss another tournament round with my online gaming group.

Apple did right by me when I found out they'd sent me a slower processor. Honestly, I'd never have been able to tell the difference between a 1.8 and a 2.0 GHz machine. The 1 GB stick of RAM installed in the iMac instead of the usual 512 MB helped ease the pain, and the $100 discount made me think all would be smooth sailing from here on out.

Until this morning, of course, when I went to burn a DVD and found out that they'd effed it up again, and sent me a unit with the Combo CD-RW drive instead of the DVD-R Superdrive. Goddamned. Kool-Ade Drinkin'. Bastards.

The simple fix would have been to send out an onsite-repair flunky to swap out the drives. They wouldn't do it. OK, fine. I'll carry it into the Apple store in the Galleria (lugging a 40 lb machine 1/2 mile to get to the very middle of the frickin' gigantomous mall) and the techs there can swap it out.

Nope! That would involve ingenuity and initiative on their part. Can't have that! Only way to fix the situation is to do what I DIDN'T want to do, and RMA the damn thing, ship it to Cupertino and get a new one whenever they get around to it.

In all honesty, this is not really an Apple issue. This shit happens all the time with any manufacturer, and it just happens to be my week in the RMA barrel. Still, we're not talking brain surgery here. This could have been fixed if the peripheral departments were allowed the creativity and flexibility that the design departments at Apple get.

This is the sad truth of a lot of companies. Every corporation preaches personal accountability for Quality Service, and Going The Extra Mile To Win Customers. In reality, once you get to the fringes of the company, it's all about doin' it by the numbers, 'cause you'll get canned if you break routine.

You've disappointed me today, Apple. I expected more from you. Oh, that iPod I was gonna buy? Shove it up your ass. That way we can both get that same AppleCare feeling.

*Bend over, here it comes again... Right up the ass!