Don't Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry...

Ask The Anonymous Muslim Man!

Saw this gem at Something Awful, and thought I'd share a snippet. What with the big kerfuffle over a set of cartoons, it seemed relevant.

Dear Muslim Man Complaint Box

Inshallah Muslim Man Complaint Box,
My child was drawing pictures for school and this is forbidden. What makes the situation worse is that the picture was of our whole family and also blessed Mohammad. It was not a very clear picture of Mohammad and I think his likeness would be considered obscured by the scriptures. Just to be sure I hanged my son and burned his body and then my brothers burned the school and also hanged the teacher. What I want to know is what can be done about the ability to draw? Any child can go about creating blasphemous rendering of Mohammad! This is lightning in the hands of the unprotected. My son is in the afterlife now because of these crayons and "construction" paper, which I say is "destruction" paper. That is a little joke, but I am not laughing. Something must be done.

Dear Muslim Man Complaint Box,
Hey, I don't know if you noticed, but my entire family lives in a fucking bomb crater eating leaves all day. I know Death to Israel, Death to America and all that but do you think you could take a look at installing a floor in my crater or something? I'm on your side, I'm Muslim, I just think we need to prioritize better. Maybe ease back on the "death to X" stuff and look into paved roads and running water. When I can afford to buy a car I promise to load the trunk full of fertilizer and drive it into a Jewish wedding. Let's just get me to the "buy a car" part first.

Dear Muslim Man Complaint Box,
My daughter was raped by my neighbor and we burned her alive because she was tainted. My issue is that I think I should be able to rape his daughter back instead of having to burn my perfectly good daughter. So she was raped, so what? All of her parts still worked. She could still cook a meal. She could still find a good husband. She could still catch a beating like a net. I think this situation is unfair.

Go check out the whole set!