Out & About + A Gratuitous Site Plug

I Need A Day Off!!!

Hardly in the office today due to meetings far abroad. Same for tomorrow. Sleep is also gonna be thin on the ground until the weekend, so posting's gonna suffer. I'll try and make it up to y'all somehow...

In the meantime, I highly recommend you check out TopFive.com on a daily basis.

I used to read that site constantly back in the day. For some reason, I quit dropping by (probably due to leaving jobs and losing that set of browser bookmarks!) but I'm gonna try and keep up with them again.

This is the group responsible for such classics of webhumor as:

Top 15 Lines Edited Out of Dr. Seuss Books

I do not like them hot or cold,
Those eggs are green because of mold!

The noise was from little Cindy Lou Who,
Who shot the Grinch dead with her dad's .32.

And to think that I saw it go down on Eight Mile.

Actually, "unless" means "unless I get me a posse of Barbaloots in brown barbaloot suits to go medieval on your onceler ass."

Why did that cop hop on pop?
Isn't this a routine traffic stop?

"I'll put eyes in the ceiling and ears in the wall,
'Cause a threat is a threat, no matter how small."

The Cat in the Hat said, "We'll have fun in batches,
And the best fun of all comes from playing with matches!"

I did not do her, near or far.
Okay, maybe once, with a Cuban cigar.

Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave had twenty three sons and she named them all You-Are-Getting-A-Vasectomy-NOW-if-you-EVER-Want-So-Much-As-Another-Whiff,-Mr. McCave?

The Cat in the Hat didn't coo, didn't purr;
He choked and he coughed till he puked up some fur.

Would you dangle him from a tree?
Could you from the balcony?
Would you? Could you? Jacko, please?

I would not, could not with a fox,
Unless she looked like Courteney Cox.

Poor Arthur Anderson cried and he cried!
"Yes I counted the beans, but I never lied!"
"It's all a mistake!" he would plead, he would say.
But no one believed him, not even Ken Lay!

Our reason isn't too strange, is it?
Butter-side down toast tastes like shizzit!

and the Number 1 Line Edited Out of Dr. Seuss Books...

Thanks to the Whos and their friends down at Pfizer,
The Grinch grew not one, two or three -- but *four* sizes!

Also: (my personal favorite)

Julia Child's Euphemisms For Death

16) Pushin' Up Parsley
15) Put in the Crisper
14) Fettucine Al Dead-o
13) Has Reservations at the Chateau Eternity
12) Sleeping with the Quiches
11) Filleting the Soul
10) Face-Planting the Meringue
9) Basting the Formaldehyde Turkey
8) Donating the Liver Pate
7) Peasant Under Grass
6) Marinating in Soil and Worms
5) Promoted to Subterranean Truffle Inspector
4) Just Add Maggots
3) Sampling the French Onion Soup with a Salmonella Spoon
2) Cooking for the Kennedys
and the Number 1 Julia Child Euphemism for Death...
1) Slowly Cooling to Room Temperature

Check out their Greatest Hits page!

Oh, how'd I rediscover the site?? I was doing a Google search for "Brown Barbaloot Suits". No, don't even ask about it. I keep my Barbaloot urges to myself.

That's it for now. See y'all whenever.