Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, May 11, 2007

May Monsoons

Hey, Noah Called. He Wants His Deluge Back...

Got a bit damp hereabouts yesterday evening. I skedaddled out of a boring meeting last night, and probably should have stayed.

By the time I was halfway home, the rain was coming down like a cow pissing on a flat rock. Houston being as flat as it is, the drainage system backed up pretty quickly, and the streets commenced to floodin'.

It got so bad that every parking lot up and down Gessner was packed with cars trying to escape the rising waters. I saw a fire truck stall out trying to cross the Gessner/Hammerly intersection. The medians were littered with vehicles that had crawled up there, then died as the water kept coming.

I holed up next to a KFC, hoping the rain would slow long enough so that I could dash in and get some dinner without getting soaked to the bone. It never did slacken off, and when the electricity went out, KFC was officially out of the chicken business for a while. And then, the hail came... It was time to get home.

I learned a valuable lesson last night. My 4x4 can power through deep, deep water. It can bump up curbs and go cross country and bulldoze through ornamental shrubbery if the need arises.

What it can NOT do is levitate over all the stalled out vehicles that foolishly tried to go through the flooded streets. So many cars had gotten stuck that the streets in many places were impassable. All those consumers who "felt safer" in their cutesy pseudo-SUV's took it up the tailpipe (literally) and are now vacuuming water out of their interior carpets and having their engines de-watered. Oh, and all you hippies that sneer at the Hummers and H2s? They made it home last night. Where's your hybrid? Ooops, you mean gasoline and rainwater don't hybridize in your engine compartment??

When I got home, the cul de sac was a smooth-surfaced pond. I had to line up on the Caddy's tail lights in the driveway as my landing beacon, since you couldn't see the pavement. (I've got deep drop-offs on either side of the driveway.) I called the ball and landed that sucker, but had to kick off my shoes and socks before wading inside. The water was easily a foot deep in the driveway, and was within an inch of the front door sill.

I'm gonna go get my truck detailed after work. It deserves it after a praiseworthy performace last night.