Adding Insult To Injury, Pt. 376

It's A Got-Damn Conspiracy By The Skinnies!

OK, I'm a big guy. I've never tried to conceal that fact. Mostly, 'cause it's gone way beyond the "wear baggy clothes, no horizontal stripes, hang out with fatter friends so you look thinner" stage. There's really no chance of concealment, at least until the Romulan cloaking device is perfected.

Buying clothes when you're fat is never a picnic. In addition to being more expensive and harder to find than regular-sized clothing, much of the time you have to throw out any remaining traces of fashion sense and just go with what's in front of you, because usually that's all that's available.

Not this time, though.

I'm needing to restock the underwear drawer, and I can usually find good deals on eBay. Last time I got some factory-imperfect skivvies for about a third of what I pay retail, assuming you don't mind that the waistband says "Hannes" or "Frut of the Looom", or there's an uneven seam or two.

Time's passed, and stretching the tighty-whiteys over my capacious posterior has taken its toll on the fabric. So, back to eBay to find some more.

And all I can find in my size looks like this:



NO. EFFING. WAY.

The description says they're "men's briefs in stylish pastels for bringing out your feminine side". I don't think so, Scooter...

On the other hand, if I wore these at the next blogfest, I'd have the cabin to myself pretty darn quick!