Bad Breakfast Food

At This Stage In Life You'd Think I'd Know Better...

OK, so I'm in the convenience store this morning picking up my daily ration of Coke Zero, when I see this little sign advertising a deep discount on a sleeve of Little Tiny Donuts when purchased in conjunction with a 20 oz bottle of soda.

I look down at the three bottles of Coke I'm carrying, and a little light goes off. Hey, I need breakfast. Donuts are breakfast food! Buy donuts!

I've tried to wean myself off the donuts in recent years. They just aren't healthy at all, and now that both the local Krispy Kreme stores have gone belly-up, all we have left are Shipley's and the small Mom & Pop donuterias. They're mostly not worth bothering with. As I've said before, I long for a Tim Horton's or a Winchells. I'll even settle for Dunkin Donuts...

Back in high school, a buddy of mine called donuts "the circular power source of the universe" and he wasn't too far off the mark. I wonder how much committee-generated foolishness over the years has been fueled by bad percolator coffee and glazed donuts?

Anyway, to cut to the chase, I selected a sleeve of the crumb-encrusted donuts, since I didn't want powdered sugar wafting all over my clothes, or that waxy pseudo-chocolate coating all over my fingers.

Ewwww.... Bad choice...

Since when do donuts leave a Crisco-like film inside your mouth? I had to take a big slurp of Coke and swish it around in my mouth until my gums started burning just to cut through the grease layer. Nasty nasty nasty! Bad Cap! No Donut!

I tried kolaches, but you need to make three times my wage to afford breakfasts at the Kolache Factory. Man, they're proud of their pastry. There's a place called Anna's Donuts that sells the most delicious buttery croissants stuffed with ham & cheese, but they're kinda spendy, too.

So, it's back to the Jack in the Box or Sonic breakfast burritos, on those mornings when I feel like eating.