The Wreck Of The Crimson Volkswagen
I Wasn't Hauling Iron Ore, Just My Big Ass...
33 years ago today, the Edmund Fitzgerald sank with all hands during a winter storm on Lake Superior.
Canadian singer Gordon Lightfoot wrote a song about it, and it's a great tune.
With its regular meter, it's also pretty easy to swap the words out and make a version to illustrate a vehicle/water mishap of my own...
The scansion's a bit forced in places, and I had to change the verse order to fit the tale, but it's all there, line for line!
So, cue up the music and sing along!
The Wreck Of The Crimson Volkswagen
The legend lives on in that small college town
of the Veedub he named Cherry Slurpee.
The Interstate, it's said, loves to strike a car dead
when the skies of September turn stormy!
With Z-rated tires and some fritzed speaker wires
The GTI's back seat was too small for balling,
But that good car and true was a bone to be chewed
when the Wetbacks of Sonora came calling!
The car was the pride of all El Capitan's rides
assembled by Huns oe'r in Deutschland.
As sporty cars go, it was redder than most
with a sunroof and stickshift well seasoned!
Concluding some terms with some Arlington firms
El Cap left town all fueled up for Dallas.
And later that day when the rain came to stay,
It foretold a future most callous!
On I-35 just inside Carrollton town
The rain it poured down by the bucket!
A turn signal used could have helped the confused,
But the Wetbacks of Sonora said "Fuck it!!"
The beat-up S-10 stuffed full of Mexikins
Crossed blindly oe'r 5 lanes of traffic,
The Corvette they rammed was pretty much damned
With a body of fiberglass & plastic!
The tires on the pavement made a terrible sound
as the Corvette broke loose from its traction.
And ev'ry man knew, as El Capitan did too
There'd be no hope escaping collision!
The 'Vette slid 'round till its ass was northbound
and dealt the Veedub's fender a huge dent,
The bint behind the wheel had no clue how to deal
with 300 horses loose on wet pavement!
Your bunghole sucks in when you're in a tight spin,
and your blood turns to ice in a flashing...
The Veedub kissed the wall maybe a dozen times in all,
The oil and the Prestone were splashing!
Together they flailed, locking bumpers nose to tail
skidding lanes with no real direction
And sliding to the right with his exit in sight
Came the Wreck Of The Crimson Volkswagen!
Does any one know where the love of God goes
when you're hit by uninsured drivers?
The wreckers all say if he'd been on the Tollway
He'd have made it to Plano unhindered!
The fenders split up and the oil pan punched through;
The radiator was not holding water,
And all that remains is filing the claims
With the Allstate insurance adjusters!
In a cold waiting room in Dallas he prayed,
with the Volkswagen dealer's repairmen.
The cash register chimed 'til it rang four thousand times
for the dents on The Crimson Volkswagen!
The legend lives on in that small college town
of the Veedub he named "Cherry Slurpee".
The Interstate, it's said, loves to strike a car dead
when the skies of September turn stormy!
33 years ago today, the Edmund Fitzgerald sank with all hands during a winter storm on Lake Superior.
Canadian singer Gordon Lightfoot wrote a song about it, and it's a great tune.
With its regular meter, it's also pretty easy to swap the words out and make a version to illustrate a vehicle/water mishap of my own...
The scansion's a bit forced in places, and I had to change the verse order to fit the tale, but it's all there, line for line!
So, cue up the music and sing along!
The Wreck Of The Crimson Volkswagen
The legend lives on in that small college town
of the Veedub he named Cherry Slurpee.
The Interstate, it's said, loves to strike a car dead
when the skies of September turn stormy!
With Z-rated tires and some fritzed speaker wires
The GTI's back seat was too small for balling,
But that good car and true was a bone to be chewed
when the Wetbacks of Sonora came calling!
The car was the pride of all El Capitan's rides
assembled by Huns oe'r in Deutschland.
As sporty cars go, it was redder than most
with a sunroof and stickshift well seasoned!
Concluding some terms with some Arlington firms
El Cap left town all fueled up for Dallas.
And later that day when the rain came to stay,
It foretold a future most callous!
On I-35 just inside Carrollton town
The rain it poured down by the bucket!
A turn signal used could have helped the confused,
But the Wetbacks of Sonora said "Fuck it!!"
The beat-up S-10 stuffed full of Mexikins
Crossed blindly oe'r 5 lanes of traffic,
The Corvette they rammed was pretty much damned
With a body of fiberglass & plastic!
The tires on the pavement made a terrible sound
as the Corvette broke loose from its traction.
And ev'ry man knew, as El Capitan did too
There'd be no hope escaping collision!
The 'Vette slid 'round till its ass was northbound
and dealt the Veedub's fender a huge dent,
The bint behind the wheel had no clue how to deal
with 300 horses loose on wet pavement!
Your bunghole sucks in when you're in a tight spin,
and your blood turns to ice in a flashing...
The Veedub kissed the wall maybe a dozen times in all,
The oil and the Prestone were splashing!
Together they flailed, locking bumpers nose to tail
skidding lanes with no real direction
And sliding to the right with his exit in sight
Came the Wreck Of The Crimson Volkswagen!
Does any one know where the love of God goes
when you're hit by uninsured drivers?
The wreckers all say if he'd been on the Tollway
He'd have made it to Plano unhindered!
The fenders split up and the oil pan punched through;
The radiator was not holding water,
And all that remains is filing the claims
With the Allstate insurance adjusters!
In a cold waiting room in Dallas he prayed,
with the Volkswagen dealer's repairmen.
The cash register chimed 'til it rang four thousand times
for the dents on The Crimson Volkswagen!
The legend lives on in that small college town
of the Veedub he named "Cherry Slurpee".
The Interstate, it's said, loves to strike a car dead
when the skies of September turn stormy!
posted by El Capitan | 2:34 AM
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