Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Paranoia May Destroy Ya!

They ARE All Out To Get Me!!

OK, there's some sort of evil conspiracy afoot to undermine my diet...

Twice last week the break room at the office was occupied by allegedly delicious chocolate cakes. On Wednesday, a frosted bundt cake tried to taunt me, and a 1/2 sheet cake took up most of the table on Friday.

Yesterday, the Grand Poobahs bought pizza for the entire floor. I had to go hide in my office most of the day to escape the delicious aroma. Late yesterday afternoon, I crept in the breakroom to get a Diet Dr Pepper, and was assaulted by a stack of empty pizza boxes. See, there was this tiny voice inside crying " me... help me!!!"

Naturally, I investigated, and found one lone slice of cold pizza lurking in ambush. I was sorely tempted to gobble it down, but it had been there for several hours, and pawed over by who knows how many rat paws, so I had to let it go with a deep sniffling inhale to imbed the pizza aroma in my memory, then I pitched it in the trash.

Adding insult to injury, I finally convinced myself I could have a small slice of the fat-free sugar-free angelfood cake Mom bought on my birthday. I'd let it languish on the kitchen counter just a bit too long, though. On the second bite (naturally), I spied a bunch of blue fuzz on the underside of the slice. I didn't know cake went moldy, but this one did. Well, I've got my dose of penicillin, anyway.

I fully expect to leave the office today and be met by people handing out free Dove bars and pans of lasagna.

I shall have to kill them all...